"The Down Low" 6x11

After a VERY long break we have an entire episode of players getting played. An undercover cop keeps playin’ his drug buddy even though he might die by not telling the truth. 13, Taub and Chase are playin’ Foreman with a paycheck prank only to end up having to cough up some cash so they don’t have to tell Foreman the truth. And House and Wilson are not only playin’ each other, but their cute neighbor as well in an effort to score with her only to end up alone and singing showtunes for telling her the truth. Hmmmmm. What are TPTB trying to say this time, I wonder. I get all confused by these mixed messages.


“The Down Low” House 6x11

Hooray! After six long weeks of rerun sadness we open up this new episode of House in a parking garage. Some suspicious looking people are gathered around the trunk of a car, apparently “checkin’ out the merchandise.” If you know what I mean. One guy, Eddie, says he thinks the high quality “merchandise” is worth 35, which I’m taking to be “3500,” although never having bought illegal drugs before I don’t know street value like I should. I would totally blow the Drug Buying Game on Price Is Right. I just know it. A big bad guy says he won’t pay more that 30. Mickey, who’s standing behind the big bad guy chuckles and when he gets the evil eye from big bad guy he apologizes, “I thought you were joking,” he says. See, he’s obviously the guy who would do great at on the Price Is Right. The first guys laughs to and tells “Marko” that if he can guarantee that “Gorski” has to hook them up in the big deal coming before he’ll give him a discount. Marko doesn’t agree and gets pushy. Eddie simply puts the duffle bag of drugs back into the car and closes the door. “Marko, I thought we had an understanding,” Eddie tells him. Marko’s flunky, Tommy, doesn’t like this and pulls out his gun and cocks it. Pointing it at Eddie’s face he tells Eddie that he should show some respect to his boss. Mickey comes around Marko and tells him to cool down. Even Marko tells the guy to cool down, but he’s pulled out his testosterone now and wants to show it off. Mickey manages to grab the gun and aim it down and in the tussle it goes off. Mickey freezes and drops to the ground. Eddie and Marko both things Mickey’s been shot and start yelling at the dumb bodyguard, even though Tommy’s hopping around saying he shot his own foot. Eddie confirms that there’s not a mark on Mickey, except for the giant goose egg and cut on his forehead. The bad bad guys (cause really, they are both bad guys, but I have to differentiate them somehow!) load up into their car and speed away. Eddie hovers over the unconscious Mickey wondering what’s going on. I am too, as not a single other person has come into the parking lot filled with cars this whole time. So much for gritty realism. And we are off to the opening credits! Hooray! Again.

Jennifer Morrison will be mentioned in the credits for the entire run of the show’s history regardless if she returns or not. Just getting my prediction in now.

Mickey is now in Dr. Gregory House’s gentle care in the PPTH clinic. Dr. House, looking at Mickey with his clear blue eyes, is stitching up the head laceration and Mickey is impatiently waiting for him to finish. House says that he’s going to have to order a head CT for Mickey, since House doesn’t know how he received the head injury. Eddie, who’s pacing around the room, looks at Mickey and the two say nothing. Mickey wants to leave, but Eddie insists he stay. They’ll straighten out the mess with Marko tomorrow. Right now the doc needs to fix him up. House mentions that cuts like this generally get stitched up in the ER. Mickey mentions that it was too long a wait and while House doesn’t disagree he also mentions that there’s too many cops down there. House again asks how Mickey got hurt but they stay quiet. House agrees that they don’t need to tell him what happened anyway and then he proceeds to go all Sherlock on the behinds. “No scrapes on your hands means you didn’t try to break your fall which means you were out cold or totally disoriented when you went down. No sign of trauma other than the cut on your head which means no one hit you. And the sign of powder burns on your jacket sleeve means someone shot a gun….” At this last sentence Mickey leaps off the table and grabs his coat and Eddie slams his hat on his head. Both make for the door. House stands and tells them he doesn’t care what they’re doing but if Mickey doesn’t get this checked out it’ll happen again. Eddie stops and looks and House, “What will?” he asks. “This,” House says, pauses, and then slams his cane hard against the exam table, the smack echoing around the exam room. Mickey suddenly crumples to the ground. Both Eddie and House watch him go down. “Cool,” says House. That was cool. I wish I could do that with my kids when they’re melting down at the store over a toy I won’t buy them.

House is now in the Diagnostics Department, where he’s tossing out copies of Mickey’s file to his team. We’ve got Taub, Foreman, 13 and a newly shorn Chase sitting around the table staring at him. House rattles off the symptoms. That fainting thing is called noise-induced vertigo. Cool. House takes the time to snark about Chase’s new hair cut. “Cameron get your hair in the divorce.” Chase glares back at him, but not with real malice. I want to believe that Chase wants to smile just a bit at that, but I also think that Chase should just smile. He’s been Mr. Grumpy Pants for far too long now. Taub mentions that there is no medical info except that Mickey says he hurt his back three years ago. House says not to expect any more info as the guy’s a drug dealer. He says this with a glint in his eye. 13 picks up on the glint and says to him, “So he’s dangerous and withholding, which you find irresistible, but guys like that, they never call.” It’s a funny line and we see House smile at it, liking 13 even more. You know, 13 haters, I don’t mind her when she’s not mooning over Foreman. Miss Wilde’s acting skills have even improved some as well. So I am taking my name off of the Official 13 Haters List. I’ll mail in the card as soon as I can. Chase, gullible as he is, asks House if Mickey actually said he was a drug dealer. House says no, but it didn’t matter. They both had really expensive watches and pre-paid cell phones for easy disposal. Oh, man….my grandpa is a drug dealer! Foreman stands up and goes to the trash to throw away his coffee cup. He spies a folded up piece of paper on the floor and picks it up, examines it and pockets it. He returns to the table where he cuts in on the speculation and says it doesn’t matter if the guy’s a drug dealer they just need to find the problem. Now, I’m short on time this week so I am not going to look up all the details of the diagnoses. Sorry. I would tell the boss to dock my pay but since I do this for free that’s not an alternative. Okay. So Foreman thinks that Mickey has an ear or brain problem and they should run appropriate tests. House thinks that Mickey has some type of poisoning depending on the chemicals Mickey is cutting the cocaine with. 13 somehow takes offense at the fact that House is now accusing Mickey of not just dealing drugs, but dealing cocaine. “He seemed peppy,” is House’s reply. Great, my three-year-old is on cocaine. Sheesh. These stereotypes are ruining my innocence! House stands and tells them to test his ears while he goes and tests the drugs. He’s joking. Right?

Wilson and an attractive woman Nora,, are exiting an elevator in the lobby of Wilson’s new apartment. He’s on his way out. See, I deduced that because he’s coming down to the lobby in an elevator, he’s wearing his coat and he begins to walk out of the front door. See! I can go all Sherlock, too! Anyway, he’s getting the “down low” from this fellow resident on where to go for certain amenities in the neighborhood. She recommends the Pizza at Gino’s and the coffee at Gina’s. Wilson is clearly working with his charm switch on full open. He asks for a dry cleaners. He’s carrying some soiled shirts. She recommends the one two blocks down because the other one shredded up her boyfriend’s shirts. OH! He stumbles and bobbles the football! But wait, Nora casually mentions that she should thank the cleaners for ruining her boyfriends shirts as they are now broken up…and obviously, not amicably. She says that if he needs any more advice to just ask her. Wilson picks up the ball and heads for the goal line. “Favorite sushi place?” he asks her as she retrieves her mail. “Maybe we could go get dinner sometime?” He is driving to the goal line. The end zone is in sight! “Sure,” she says, happily. “As long as you promise to bring that good-looking guy with the cane.” AHHHHH! Wilson gets clipped from behind, the ball falls out of his hands. “House?” Wilson asks incrediously. “You call your boyfriend House?” Nora responds quizzically. UHG! Another linebacker comes out of nowhere and leaps onto Wilson’s back. “House is not my boyfriend.” Nora looks embarrassed. “I’m sorry, what do you two call each other: partner; spouse; lovers?” Wilson is gobsmacked. “What?! We’re not gay!” he declares. Nora looks surprised, “Seriously?” she asks. And then the big linebacker smashes Wilson’s face into the turf, while the other picks up the fumble and runs 99 yards the other way for a touchdown.

Taub is connecting some sensors to Mickey’s face. He is still upset over the time these tests are going to take out of his drug dealing business. Hey, time is brain cells, people. Taub tells him it’ll take about an hour, 90 minutes tops…or Mickey could just walk out with a tumor in his ear. This convinces Mickey to just hang tight for while. Taub joins Foreman in the monitoring room. “He must be late for a stabbing,” Taub snarks, totally making me think my brother, who is always in a hurry, is now a drug dealer. Foreman, still, could care less. He says nothing is abnormal on any of the results. He pulls out the folded paper he picked off the floor earlier and hands it to Taub. “Check this out,” he tells Taub. Taub looks at it. “13’s middle name is Beaureguarde?!” he proclaims. What? No way. Foreman asks if that’s seriously the thing that sticks out. He accuses House of messing with them and planting a fake pay stub. Taub says it looks real enough. Foreman says, No, there’s no way 13 is making that much money. Without missing a beat and as innocent as a lamb, Taub says, “I make that much money.” He casually hands the pay stub back to Foreman. The audience and Taub realize at the same time from Foreman’s facial expression that Foreman clearly does NOT make that much money. Ruh-roh.

House has Eddie sitting on a tall barstool in an operating room. The room is dark except for the big operating light shining on Eddie’s face. We can see Eddie’s televised image on a monitor behind him. “I need the drugs,” House tells him calmly. He’s leaning on another gurney across from Eddie. Eddie shrugs and throws up his hands. “We’re in textiles,” he says calmly. “I NEED THE DRUGS!” House screams at him. Eddie cocks his head like a confused dog. “Hmmm,” says House. “That usually works for Jack Bauer.” Eddie asks why they are talking in the operating room when the chairs in the waiting room are way more comfortable. “But not as genre appropriate, “House says seriously. He’s having fun with this case. Yeah. House threatens him, which also doesn’t work. Eddie tells him I wish I could help you but I can’t. So House decides to play the game. He asks what textiles they deal with. Does it begin with “H” as in Hosiery? No, says Eddie. It’s strictly…culottes. “With a ‘K’ or a ‘C’?” asks House. With a “C.” Eddie tells House that there’s no way Mickey cuts said culottes. He strictly sells them. While this fashion talk is going on Wilson enters the room. He says he needs to talk to House. House tells him he’s busy interrogating a suspect. Yeah, House is having fun. House tells him to make it quick. Wilson seems upset and uncomfortable when he tells House that their neighbors think they are gay. House seems non-pulsed and says, “We’re two grown men over the age of 30 who moved in together. We’re two tigers away from an act in Vegas.” This does not make Wilson feel any better. “Relax,” House continues. “They’ll figure out we’re straight eventually.” “Eventually is not when I want to go out with the cute girl in 3B,” says Wilson as he stamps his foot. Okay. No foot stamping but it sure seemed like he wanted to. Eddie asks for a drink of water and the good cop (Wilson, of course) continues talking to House as he gets some for him. Since when did they start stocking OR’s with pitchers of water. Oh, that House has been watching too much CSI. He tells Wilson that maybe he should just tell Nora he’s not gay. Wilson says it didn’t work. Wilson realizes that the girl was only flirting with him when she thought he was gay and he gets more upset. House, unfazed, turns back to the dealer with an idea. “Are you sure Mickey didn’t…” he stops. “What is a culotte anyway?” he asks. Eddie shrugs while Wilson pipes up that it’s a pair of long shorts cut like a skirt. What? Wilson gets the “How do you know that?” look from both House and Eddie so he merely waves on their conversation. Eddie insists that Mickey hated the stuff and would touch it. Eddie trusts Mickey. Eddie asks if Mickey is okay. It’s been a long time and he’s worried. Relax, says House. It was just an ear test. And of course we cut harshly to the lab where Mickey, who is still attached to all sorts of sensors is seizing his way to a battered brain, as Foreman and Taub try to save his life. But the tests have done their job and they determine he doesn’t have a tumor in his ear. So there you go.

Back in the Diagnostics Department, the team is filling House in on Mickey. Foreman asks that since he got worse since he’s been in the hospital can they please stop playing detective and give up the search for drug or environmental causes. House is clearly relunctent but agrees. They bat around a few ideas but Foreman notices 13’s big ol’ man watch. “New watch,” he asks casually. “Yeah,” she replies casually. “I thought I’d give myself a treat.” Oh, I think someone’s messing with Foreman. That line was too pointed. Let’s watch and find out. 13 moves on and suggests that it could be artery clogging something (hey, I warned you). House doesn’t agree or disagree but tells them all to go do the tests. He walks into his office. Taub and 13 leave to do the tests. Left alone with Chase, Foreman looks at him and shoots it straight, “How much money do you make?” He asks. Chase looks confused, but that’s typical so I can’t interpret much more than that.

“I want a raise,” states Foreman strongly to Cuddy, who is sitting at her desk texting someone. Probably Lucas. Yuck. And it better be only Texting, if you know what I mean. Cuddy says she’d be glad to talk about that at his next job performance review in August. Stop texting, please. My mind is making up the conversation. Yuck. Foreman is miffed that he’s getting paid so little and that it undermines his authority to be paid less than his inferiors. Cuddy stops texting and looks up, interested now. She tells him she can’t discuss what his co-workers make and then asks them how they know what he makes. He says it’s not fair. He just tries to look intimidating as he stands over her with his arms folded. She doesn’t even have to stand up to knock him back down. She reminds him that salary isn’t based on fairness but on leverage, which he has none if there’s no competing offer on the table. “And we both know you don’t have one,” she says, finishing him off. Cuddy=1. Foreman=0. Yeah, strong Cuddy has returned.

House is in his office messing with a radio receiver. He’s getting nothing but static and it keeps blasting out shrieks of feedback. He’s very frustrated. The team is trying to give him updates and tell him that Mickey still really wants to leave, but he’s just trying to get his toy to work. They hear a small snippet of conversation between Mickey and Eddie and 13 is shocked that House has bugged the patient’s room. Really? You’ve worked with the man for how long now? House admits that he let them conduct useless tests so he could bug the room in the hopes that Mickey or Eddie would slip and eventually say where they are stashing the drugs. House still believes it’s environmental. He thinks that toxins stored in the fat cells are making Mickey worse. 13 then sees the wisdom in the bug because it will take days to test Mickey for all those possibilities. House pauses and tells them to tell Mickey it’ll take weeks.

Taub has told Mickey this and he’s not happy. He’s got things to do. Taub thinks it’s sweet he’s worrying about all the school children without their drugs. Mickey, not impressed, tells him he wants to be discharged. Taub gets the paperwork.

Mickey is now driving down a very non-New Jersey looking street. He’s being followed by Chase and 13, who’s driving. Chase is concerned that 13 is following too close and 13 interprets this to mean that Chase is scared of getting killed. Well, maybe he wants more of an element of surprise on his side, woman. Nah, the wombat is probably scared of getting killed. Kidding! Chase lovers! Chase does complement 13 on the watch. Hah! It’s 13 and Chase and Taub. Classic. Way to bond as a team, guys. Pulling a possibly hurtful practical joke on a co-worker. House would cry with unabashed pride if he knew. Chase asks how long they are going to continue to mess with Foreman. 13 says as long as they can and defends her comment by saying that they all wanted to bring him down a notch or two. Chase still thinks she might be motivated by revenge. She doesn’t respond as she’s conveniently realizing that the light is turning red. She guns the engine and runs the red light. And of course, the next second we hear sirens and see a police car right there. Chase thinks this is quite funny. 13 does not.

Nora is getting mail from her box in the lobby when House approaches her. Putting on the most charming of smiles, House introduces himself and thanks her for all the helpful neighborhood information. He also tells her that Wilson mentioned she thought they were gay. He totally denies this, in a soft, sensitive voice. She’s clearly embarrassed. House sees a large brown paper-wrapped package leaning against the wall and limps over to it. He sees it’s to him and then gently rips the paper away. It’s a six-foot by 4-foot tall marquee poster from “A Chorus Line.” Ha-ha! He stands back and clasping his hands in front of his mouth whispers, “Oh my, that is beautiful.” Nora is now clearly confused. House, smiling, tells her that they are so fortunate now because they finally have the space to properly display this. He asks Nora to help him carry it upstairs and she agrees. I am laughing out loud now and have to rewind TiVo so I can hear the last line. I die some more when I hear him comment on her lovely shoes. Oh, yeah, this is the House I missed. After a season of grumpy, drugged-up House and 10 episodes of love-sick, find-myself House, I am falling in love all over again with funny, puzzle-solving House. Sigh. Welcome back, my friend.

Foreman and Taub are walking out of the hospital. Taub asks how the talk went with Cuddy. Foreman said she shot him down and he was just going to wait for his next review in August. “Oh,” says Taub. “What?” Foreman asks defensively. “Nothing,” Taub replies. “That’s what I would do. (Beat) But I’m a coward.” I can see Foreman’s feathers ruffle from my living room. He begins to walk off, pissed, but both their pagers go off. They race down to the ER, where Eddie has brought Mickey back. The nurse tells them that he was brought in 15 minutes ago and he has a temperature of 105 and a weak and thread pulse. He’s also talking jibberish. That comes with the fried brain, I’m guessing. They leap in to help and I am amazed that he’s only been there 15 minutes and they’ve got him in a hospital gown already. Wow.

Back in Diagnostics, Taub, Chase, 13 and House are gathered around the conference table. Chase says that Mickey left the hospital and came back worse so it must be environmental. House says it’s not. 13 is upset. House clearly thought it was environmental. She’s mad about that and that she messed up the tail and got her car impounded. House thinks that’s amusing and irrelevant. He asks where Foreman is. Taub says he had a meeting with Cuddy. House pauses and asks, “Did Foreman fall for the fake paystub?” The looks of the three are great: 13 breaks eye contact and pretends she didn’t hear House; Taub’s mouth drops open in amazement; and Chase looks at first surprised, then he smiles in awe at his boss. Finally, Taub says, “Yeah.” “Mazel tov,” House says plainly. “That should be fun to watch.” 13 begins her rant again about House changing his diagnosis. Maybe I was a bit brash on my Official 13 Haters Club membership. I’m gonna hang onto my card for a while. House states that because of the latest symptoms he thinks that Mickey now has an infection in his brain. Chase and Taub run off to do a lumbar puncture.

Taub and Chase are with the patient. Mickey says that next time they try to tail him they should take two cars. He apologizes for loosing them but says that he had some business to tend to. This gets a big ol’ lecture from Taub and Chase about how horrible Mickey’s profession is. Mickey endures the mud slinging and tells them to rip a new one for the next alcoholic that shows up on the table. Taub has to stab him twice to get the lumbar puncture but Mickey barely flinches and his blood pressure stays level, odd for someone with hyptertension. Hmmmm.

House is at his desk when Wilson comes in ranting about House’s and Nora’s “Evita-Listening Party” the two had. House smiles and stops what he’s doing, “Well, the New York and London recordings are SOOOO different,” he states. Wilson wants to know what’s going on. He thinks House is doing all this to mess with him. House says it started as that but now he just wants to “hit that,” which we all know does not have anthing to do with baseball or tennis. Wilson is disgusted that House is pretending to be in a relationship with him in order to score a hot babe. House tells him the plan is foolproof. He’ll open up about how rocky his and Wilson’s relationship is right now, they’ll get drunk to ease his pain, a back rub will turn into a front rub and then….bam…in the morning it’ll be “I’ve never felt this way about a woman before.” It’s a totally deceptive, conniving and self-centered plan. It’s totally House. Wilson is appalled. His trots out his moral high horse and starts saddling it up. He is mad that House is messing with a girl he’d like to date and brings out the “Guy Code,” rule of “I saw her first.” House scoffs at this and says Wilson is only bringing it up because he knows he’s going to lose the “Bed the Babe” contest. Chase interrupts the conversation and tells House that it can’t be an infection but something with his nerves as they speared Mickey’s spine twice and he stayed as cool as a cucumber. No hypertension. Chase suggests to take that off the table, but House has a Mid-Episode EpiphanyTM and walks out the door. Wilson calls after him that Nora will never fall for the scheme to which House replies, “Well, then, you have nothing to worry about….Sweetie.” Ha.

House goes to Mickey’s bedside and calls him a wuss. Mickey tells him to say that when he’s not sick, but House is not scared. He tells him and Chase that Mickey doesn’t appear to be stressed at all. Maybe that’s the side effect from the beta-blockers. Chase is confused. He never said he had a heart problem. House says that he doesn’t, physically, but maybe he’s taking the pills for something else. Mickey gets nervous and eyes the door. They close it and Mickey confesses that sometimes doing bad things to good people stresses him out. A friend got him those pills and they keep him calm. It seems he took one when he was released.
When he was in the hospital before he was in beta-blocker withdrawal which caused the hyptertension. House takes that symptom off the white-board (where are you white board, I miss you) and then with the other symptoms leads Chase to some diagnosis about extra-adrenaline. Sorry, can’t look it up but it did sound familiar. House He tells Chase to run the tests for that diagnosis and confirms that Chase is okay with that and with the patient’s admission of being a mean guy. House doesn’t want Chase to put a pillow over Mickey’s face. Chase seems more embarrassed than guilt-ridden and laughs it off as a joke for Mickey’s benefit. Chase’s conscious had a name and it was Cameron. It’s long gone now.

Wilson arrives at their apartment to see a big screen TV hooked up and showing “Housewives of Atlanta.” “Oh, great,” he says as he walks in. “The cable guy came.” He rounds the tall stacks of moving boxes to see House sitting behind Nora on a blanket on the floor and he’s giving a back rub to her. Yum. She’s completely at ease, because she’s found every women’s dream: handsome, smart funny fellow who can’t break your heart because he doesn’t go for hearts like your’s. Oh, that heart’s gonna be beat up after this, I’m afraid. Wilson is obviously miffed as Nora turns and says hi. House smiles like the devil he is and says innocently, “We’re having a picnic. (Beat) With wine.” So, we’ve got back rub and alcohol. Next step: front rub. “Why don’t you join us?” Nora asks. “We’ve got some Kung Pao Chicken left. And wine.” House smiles, “Wilson doesn’t drink.” “Well, more for us then,” says Nora the Fly as she flies closer to House’s web. Wilson continues to glare at House, who sweetly smiles back. Wilson is not going to let this slid, by golly. He’s beginning to open that can of paint he and House talked about in the last episode. He’s not yet painting the table, but the paintbrush is going in the can. Wilson drops his briefcase on the floor and then walks over to an empty box next to the cute couple. Nora moans as House’s trained doctor hands finds a knot and works it out gently. Wilson rolls his eyes and plops down on the box, nearly knocked it and himself over. He grabs the take-out box of food and picks up the chopsticks. “Well,” he says. “I might have a little of kung pao.” Now it’s House’s turn to glare. The sight of Wilson trying to make himself comfortable on the smooshed box is definitely worth rewinding. I love Mr. Leonard. Love.

Taub and Foreman are watching the test results in the MRI monitoring room. Taub casually asks Foreman how it went with Cuddy and after a sideways, suspicious glance, Foreman tells Taub that it didn’t go so well. Cuddy said he needed leverage to work a raise negotiation so he told her about the pay he’s been offered for a job at Mercy Hospital. Taub looks shocked as he didn’t know Foreman had ideas of leaving, let alone having another job available. Fact is: Foreman doesn’t have another job offer. He just said that to get the raise, but Cuddy called him on it. Foreman says he’s not going to beg to be underpaid so he’s leaving as soon as this case is over. What? Man, he needs to lighten up, my friend. He’s been so serious since Kutner committed suicide; he nearly destroyed his career by messing with medical studies and the love of his life dumped him. Oh…. Yeah, I can see why. Especially since he was never a very peppy person before. Sorry. Taub looks aghast, however, as their “Harmless, Funny Little Prank” just turned into a “Destroying a Career Prank.” Whoops.

“House is lying to you,” Wilson declares emphatically to Nora. The two of them are in the boys’ apartment, having a cup of coffee. “I know,” says Nora, empathetically. “And so are you.” Wilson is confused. “It’s 2010. No one cares if you’re gay anymore.” Wilson’s confusion just turned into exasperation. He tries to plea his heterosexuality again by pointing out the total straight guy-ness of their apartment. “We have no furniture and not one window dressing,” he says. Ohhhh! The defense makes a huge error. Nora picks up on too. “My last boyfriend didn’t even know what a window treatment was,” she says, assuring Wilson, again, that it’s okay to be gay. Wilson is flummoxed. Nora asks if the Carpenter’s album on the table is Greg’s. Ha-ha. If we’re still playing the stereotype pigeon-holed game then my gay community circle just got way bigger. Wilson finally comes right out and tells her that this whole thing is a game so that House can sleep with her. “I understand,” Nora says. She gently puts her hand on Wilson’s arm. “You’re jealous. If you want to spend more time with Greg you should just tell him.” The look on Wilson’s face is awesome. You know, Wilson, if the babe is this clueless you maybe should just let House have her. Just sayin’.

House enters his Diagnostics Department to Foreman telling him he was wrong about the last diagnosis. Hello, to you, too, Mr. Ray of Sunshine. They tell him test results and throw out other ideas, but House is just watching 13, who is sitting at the desk wearing the headphones from the bug receiver. House tells her that the thing isn’t working, but 13 snarks that she tried something different, like reading the instructions. Once hooked up it worked fine. Her “I’m better than you” look gets wiped off her face, however, when the machine squelches on her, making her rip the earphones of it pain. Everyone can hear it, too, that’s how loud it was. 13 mumbles that it’s looking for an open channel. Well, it’s still looking and House looks perplexed. He walks over to the desk. It surely can find ONE open channel, House supposes before having an Mini-EpiphanyTM.

Eddie and Mickey are talking in hushed tones in his room when House and 13 come in. House tells Eddie that he needs to talk to his friend. He seems relunctanct to leave until House says that maybe it’ll be okay. It’s just a rectal exam. That makes both Eddie and Mickey groan and Eddie beats a hasty retreat to the cafeteria. House has 13 close the door and the curtains. House asks Mickey why he’s on beta-blockers. Valium and Xanax are better drugs to stop the actual stress, but Beta-Blockers just mask the symptoms of stress: shaking, shallow breath, stage fright issues. That’s why some people take them when they perform. As House is saying all this he’s digging around under the bed’s mattress until he finds the bug he planted. Mickey asks him what it is. “My bug,” House says, “But this is…” He goes digging around Mickey’s pillows now. He finds another bug and holds it up. “your bug.” Mickey looks like he knows the jig is up. 13 is surprised that he bugged his own room and asks if he’s an informant. House says an informant would have given up that info at the first sign of blood. No, Mickey, House says, is a cop. The camera turns to Mickey and it’s obvious that House has Sherlocked this correctly, too. Cut to commercial.

The team is outside Mickey’s room and Foreman is again stating that he doesn’t see how Mickey’s profession has any relevancy on the case. “In the land of No-Fun, you have a really sensible piece of property,” House laments to him. Taub tells House to give Foreman a break. What? Taub avoids the questioned looks and just agrees with Foreman. 13 asks if they’re going to use the fact that they know he’s a cop to force him tell them more medical info. House says they don’t need to use force, not when they can use the womanly touch on him. 13 begins to walk into the room and House stops her. “I said WOMANLY,” he repeats and then dramatically turns his head toward Chase. Poor Chase. He came back, however, and chose not to leave so he’d better just keep sucking it up. Chase is not amused, but enters the room anyway. 13 goes with him.

13 and Chase try to convince Mickey to talk, but he’s not listening. 13 threatens to call his boss, but Mickey reminds them that they have no real info about him. They tell him that his life is not worth risking for these drug scums. Mickey tells them that tomorrow night they are going to me meeting with a huge area druglord, who wants to branch his business into Philidelphia. The cops are going to bust up the meeting and stop the bad guys. Mickey has been undercover for 16 months with no contact to his former life. He is not going to ruin all that to save his own hide. Eddie, who seems so nice, killed an informant just three weeks ago on orders from the boss. He needs to stop these guys. He tells them to keep him alive for 24 more hours and then he’ll tell them whatever they want to know. They all stare at other until Eddie returns to the room. The three are nervous that Eddie overheard something as he’s just staring at Mickey, but when Mickey teases him about not bringing him a sandwich, Eddie shrugs, relaxed, and says, “I can’t read minds.” Oh, it would be better for you if you could, Eddie, my boy….. Mickey suddenly grabs his stomach and screams in pain. End of scene.

Chase tells the team that Mickey had a GI Infarction and they had to remove a foot of his bowel. Hope he’s not going to need that….. House is still pissed that the patient is on death’s door and he won’t talk. “Bad guy cool? Good guy moron?” Taub asks. “Pretty much,” is House’s response. Chase defends the patient, too. The guy’s a hero, he says, risking his life to take out these dealers. “I’m sure the dealers who take their places will be very grateful,” House mumbles. Point-House. Foreman throws out a few more theories and comes up with environmental again. But they know that Mickey won’t say a word. 13 cunningly suggests that maybe if someone else got sick he won’t be so noble. That woman is devious.

13 brings a cup of coffee to Eddie, who takes a drink or two. 13 innocently mentions that while Mickey’s surgery went okay, he’s getting worse. It would awful if anyone else caught what was infecting him. Eddie then begins to get woozy. He says he feels drugged. 13 says he may be getting sick and he should take her to where they process their product. Eddie says he doesn’t feel sick. He feels drugged. “Trust me, I know what it feels like,” he says. He asks if she drugged his coffee and she has to fess up. She begins to walk away, telling him he’ll be fine in 30 minutes, but he stops her. Eddie tells her he’ll take her to their place. He wants to help Mickey. She’s surprised, but grateful.

Eddie is walking with 13 through a dry cleaner business. 13 says that they should have told them they lived in a chemical wonderland. Eddie asks if they can leave, but 13 insists on seeing where they sleep. She proceeds to take samples and swabs and is still working when they both hear someone enter the room. “Did you call the cops?” Eddie asks. Duh. No. “Hey, who’s here?” someone calls out. Eddie is about to panic. 13 thinks quick, grabs Eddie and yells out, “Hey, I said no kissing!” The guy comes around the corner and sees them. He’s confused. “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight?” he asks Eddie. 13 speaks again. “Look, the deal was just for you. If he wants to watch it’ll be another $50.” Oh, that 13 is clever, however, part of me thinks she’s had to use that ploy before….. The guy finally catches on to what’s “happening” and smiles. Eddie tells him he’s got it covered tonight. The guy grins again and leaves, throwing a macho thumbs up Eddie’s way. “Nice,” Eddie says to 13. She just looks relieved the shame worked….again. 

We are now in an classy restaurant. House is at a small table with Nora. He’s wearing an IRONED lavender shirt with the collar out over a dark sport coat. He looks very handsome and “Thank Heavens!” he’s finally trimmed that beard of his. It was getting very Jeremiah Johnson. He’s talking about how hard it is to deal with Wilson’s jealousy. He’s not sure if he can even go back to his apartment tonight. Nora, who really, I think may be secretly hoping House will give her a front rub, invites him to spend the night at her apartment. It’ll be a sleep-over! She declares. House hides his triumph behind a shy smile and a quiet thank you, but you know inside the trumpets of victory are blasting. And then Wilson walks into the restaurant and over to the table. “House,” he says quietly. House turns and sees him and a look of pure confusion washes over his face. “What are you doing her?” he responds, a little bit angry. The two stare each other down. “I’m here because,” Wilson begins, his voice actually cracking. House fully turns to him. “Nothing you say is going to change anything,” House says, full of I-have-sealed-the-deal cockiness. Wilson looks at him and nods, as though he has accepted the gauntlet House has thrown down. And then we watch as Wilson begins to paint his table a different color. He stands next to the table and announces to the restaurant patrons, “I love this man!” He looks nervously around and then seems to muster up more courage and says, “And I’m not wasting another minute of my life denying that!” Oh, what an actor that Wilson is. House is stunned into silence. We’ve rarely seen House at a loss for words and this is one of those moments. He was totally not expecting this turn of events and even though he’s ticked off that Wilson is getting the upper hand it also appears that he is delighted with what Wilson is doing. And then it gets better. Wilson drops to a knee and pulls a ring box out of his pocket. Opening it with a large flourish he presents it to House. “Greg House, will you marry me?” he asks earnestly. “Wow,” House says. “This is unexpected.” He is not amused. Nora is beaming next to him and the camera pans between House and Wilson. Each cut to Wilson shows a higher expectation and look of love from him towards House. It’s hilarious. House is still silent. Shocked. Awesome! James Wilson finally one-upped Gregory House. It’s about stinkin’ time. A customer hollers out for House to say yes, but House is still silent. Nora finally feels the tension and excuses herself. Wilson triumphantly takes her place across the table from House. He lifts her wine glass in toast to House and swigs some down. House drinks from his, too, but there’s no joy in Mudville tonight. The mighty House has struck out on a fast curve ball from Wilson. There is, however, a higher level of respect from House for Wilson, I think. Wilson looks proud of his shenanigans and although it cost House a night of fun, I think House is proud of Wilson, too. It’s always more fun to play when the opponent’s talent matches your own, I say. Best Hilson scene ever.

While House is getting played by Wilson, Chase, Taub and 13 are running tests on the chemicals found in the dry cleaners. They are still unsure of what’s the cause of his symptoms, but Chase is confident the albuterol they’re giving Mickey will do the job. The talk turns to their prank gone wild. They know they can’t let Foreman walk because of it, but they are also unwilling to talk to Foreman about it because he’ll be totally torked that all this was because of a stupid prank. Yeah…but he’d have a job still. Cowards. Chase says they have to tell Cuddy and beg her to take him back. Taub knows this is useless. They’re interrupted by Foreman entering the lab and telling them that the albuterol is not working. Whoops. Just then the results from the chemicals come back and BUZZZZZ!—they come back all eco-friendly. The green dry cleaners houses a cocaine business. Nice. So now they still, still don’t have a clue.

The next morning House is presented with the news that Mickey has multiple blood clots now and more are growing. Foreman thinks they look like fungus growths, but 13 disagrees. She reminds them that they found nothing to indicate fungus anywhere. House thinks “Someone missed something,” and he glares at her. 13 pushes back and says that they’ve also given Mickey steroids and suppressed his immune system. If those growths were fungus he’d have a lot more. “Looks like someone has a point,” House credits back. Foreman ignores both of them and bullishly informs everyone they should begin anti-fungal meds before it gets worse. You can see that House doesn’t agree 100% but since the puzzle is still perplexing him he approves the treatment based on his Modus Operandi: if it doesn’t cure him or kill him at least it will eliminate the theory.

Foreman is finishing up hooking Mickey up to his new round of meds. Eddie is there and asks Foreman how long it should take to work. Foreman says a few hours and then leaves, promising to return soon. Eddie hovers and when Mickey starts to cough and gag he grabs a barf bowl and holds it for Mickey as he spits blood out. Yuck. Eddie then wipes off Mickey’s mouth. Mickey is touched by this but in keeping with the charade tells Eddie that he shouldn’t have taken 13 to the stash. It didn’t do any good. Eddie says he had to do something, they’re friends. Eddie knows that Mickey would do the same for him. Ah, no. Exact opposite, in fact. Mickey closes his eyes as guilt washes over his face. Eddie just interprets that as Mickey being tired so Eddie excuses himself. He’s got to meet the big man tonight. He begins to leave but as Mickey hacks up part of his lung again he offers to stay. I think for a moment that Mickey will say yes, and save his friend from 25-Life in prison, but Mickey tells him to go. He doesn’t want all their work to go to waste. He pauses and then tells Eddie that he’s sorry. You know…for not being there with him. Eddie smiles and tells him to relax, he’ll be by to see him tomorrow. No, no you won’t. He leaves and Mickey deals now with not only blood-filled lungs but with the double-edge sword of guilt that comes with his job.

We then go to Cuddy’s office, where the three team members are confessing to Cuddy about their stupid prank. They didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. “Wow,” says Cuddy, “someone does something stupid and insensitive and I always figure it was House. Good to know it’s catching.” I’m pretty sure that was sarcastic….yeah. Chase tells her that Foreman has no other job lined up and says that even if he got a tiny raise he would stay. Cuddy isn’t buying what he’s selling because there’s no way she’s going to dole out more money because of something they did. They understand this and 13 explains that they want her to take a little bit from each of their paychecks to cover the small raise for Foreman. Taub looks like he’s about to pass out this whole time. His wife is going looooove this development. Cuddy agrees to that and says it’ll happen in the next paycheck. They turn to leave but she calls out and deadpans, “Just so you all know. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t spoken with Foreman in three days.” OOOOOHHHHHHH! No way! The look on Taub’s face of complete shock and sickness is CLASSIC. Watch it again, people. Mr. Jacobson rocks. The three beaten puppies realize at the same time that they have been played, but there’s nothing they can do. They tuck their tails between their legs and leave the office. As they walk out into the lobby they spot Foreman, leaning on the counter and looking like the proverbial cat who swallowed the mouse. They stop and gape at him. He oils out a smile as he says, “The phrase ‘Who’s your daddy?’ comes to mind.” WORD! That was cool. I’m not a big Foreman fan, but I’m all for the picked on to turn it around and take the flag. Kudos. They should just realize right now that Foreman is almost as sharp as House….almost. The three walk off and Foreman beams.

House is in his office, trying to figure out what’s killing Mickey when Nora opens the door and asks if he wants to go for coffee. He says it’s kind of a bad time. Yeah, patient dying and all. Nora says he asked her to come by. He decides to go ahead and deal with this problem now and motions her to come sit down. House looks at her and says that this whole thing is his fault. He tells her that he and Wilson aren’t gay. For real. She’s perplexed. House continues. He tells her Wilson thought she was cute so he was playing a game. She’s a bit miffed as it dawns on her. “So you were only spending time with me to mess with him?” she asks. House adamantly denies that and she looks a bit happier until he says, “I’m spending time with you because I want to touch your boobs. Enough to listen to Evita. Twice. And I really hate Evita. That’s how much I like your boobs.” I will admit I giggle each time I hear that. Nora defensively covers her cleavage with her hand as she looks at him with disgust. She looks sad and hurt as she realizes that the perfect man does NOT exist. She stands up to flee but House stops her. “Hey wait,” he says standing up too. “Wilson is a really great guy and he really likes you.” He smiles at her and disarms her enough that she smiles back. She stutters out that it’s really sweet that he stuck up for his friend. House pulls the embarrassed glance down and then looks up at her all shylike, smiling. There’s definitely a glint in his eye and Nora is smart enough to see it. “And you’re still trying to sleep with me,” she says, her disgust returning. “You know, I will call him. It would serve you right,” she says, making her way to the door. “Wilson is a jerk, too,” House says, throwing his friend under the bus. “He’s been married three times, slept with a dying patient. He may look like a boy scout but…” And then we have the FINAL EPIPHANYTM. Poor Nora doesn’t know what to do when House stops in midsentence, looks off in the distance and walks away without another word. Cherish that moment, Nora, not many out of PPTH get to experience that moment. I’d pay to be on that end of a FINAL EPIPHANYTM. She ignores my advice and just chalks it up to House’s Jerkiness. Sad.

House walks to the patients room and tells those gathered there that the aneurisms look like they’re from a fungus infection but they’re not. They’re actually inflammatory. He tells them that the hyper-tension was a real symptom, but it was masked by the beta-blockers Mickey’s been taking. House tells Mickey that he’s got Hughes-Stovin disease, an auto-immune disease. When Mickey asks what the treatment for this is, Chase takes the job of telling him that there’s nothing they can do now. When it gets to the aneurism stage it’s fatal. Everyone is shocked, even House. They missed it. 13 assures Mickey that even if he had told them everything from the very beginning it wouldn’t have made a difference. He did the right thing in staying undercover. House tells Mickey that the only confirmation of the disease is if he dies in the next day or two. Nice. Need to work on bedside manner a bit more still, House. He does look properly saddened at the development. “I think I’d like to call my wife now,” Mickey says quietly and the sadness intensifies.

Our ending music montage begins with a shot of the quiet snow falling outside Mickey’s room. We pull back to see a lovely young lady lying on the hospital bed with Mickey, who’s looking better than in the last scene. His wife is sobbing and he’s holding her. We cut to the dry cleaners where Eddie is meeting with the big boss. The deal is being made. Back at the hospital Mickey suddenly grimaces and tightens in pain. An aneurysm has ruptured. His wife leaps off the bed to summon help. At the drug deal, SWAT members are flooding in all exits of the room. We see Eddie look around confused and then realization dawns that he’s been sold out…by Mickey. A cut to Mickey show the same expression of realization on his face as he knows he’s going to die now. Chase is there to put a pillow behind him, but it’s over. The SWAT team then lead a handcuffed Eddie to the squad car. Lights are flashing and Eddie looks crushed and betrayed. He’s helped into the back of the car. In the hospital, Mickey has died and he’s staring blankly out. The game’s over….for everyone.

Meanwhile, House and Wilson are enjoying a bottle of brew while watching a hockey game. They are sitting on the ugliest barcalounger couch I’ve ever seen. It’s very manly. Wilson tells House he’s sorry to hear about his patient and House says that at least he died a hero in his own mind. “I guess that’s better than nothing,” he says softly. Wilson says that he ran into Nora and while she now doesn’t think they’re gay, she now thinks they are vendacious dirt bags. House is okay with that as it comes more naturally to him. Ha-ha. House is just glad that they can finally get rid of the big Chorus Line poster, but Wilson says he kinda likes it. What? He doesn’t, however, like the fugly couch their sitting on. House defends it. It was only $500 and it reclines, he says, reclining! There’s a comfortable silence and then Wilson begins to sing, “One. Singular sensation. Every little step she takes.” “I will punch you in the face,” says House. “I’ll stop if you get rid of the sofa.” House looks over. His game face is on. “Not a chance,” he declares. Wilson takes only a second before he starts singing again, this time adding the music hits and an occasional jazz hand. House rolls his eyes, wondering where this guy came from and loving every minute of it. Although he’ll deny it in the morning. The real song finally joins Wilson as we pull back from the guy’s living room and the final credits roll. Awesome.

What a great episode. I thoroughly enjoyed all of it. The past few episodes have been great too, but involved a whole lot of analyzing and reading between the lines, trying to figure out Wilson and House and Cuddy and Lucas and blah, blah, blah. This episode was clean and simple. Entertaining and at times laugh out loud funny. The relationship that is developing between House and Wilson is way better right now than raking Huddy over the coals. I am all for Huddy, my friends, but I am loving this look into a solid relationship built on mutual respect and trust. Those two really do like each other and this new bold Wilson is highly appealing to House. Now that whole last paragraph may seem gay-ish, but it’s not meant to be. There’s a strong bong between those two men and it does not have to go that way at all. They are best buds and there’s nothing wrong with that. I admire the writers for showing this close of a male friendship and not having it go that way. Kudos! Guys can have BFF’s, too, people!

It was fun to watch the three team members trying to outwit Foreman only to get played by Foreman. It may be a warped way to bond, but it’s happening between them, too. Hey, kids express emotions according to their own experiences and with House as a “dad” their experiences are a little warped. 13, Chase and Taub may still keep a distance from Foreman, but a certain level of respect was achieved. And those three are definitely now bonding over the fact that a portion of their paychecks is now being given to Foreman. Ouch.

Mickey and Eddie had a great relationship, too. Even though it was based on lies and illegal ways. I wondered if Mickey was playing Eddie, but I think that after 16 months of that intense kind of life where you have to watch out for each other just to stay alive you would have to develop some type of bond. I think it hurt Mickey to eventually sell Eddie out, but he did what he had to do. Sad.

So yeah, overall, one of my favorite episodes of this season so far. It felt like classic House and you can’t get better television that Classic House. Thanks, everyone for reading. We now only have to wait two weeks for another episode, although that doesn’t seem fair either. Although it has nothing to do with fairness. Hey, let’s take Cuddy’s advice and find some leverage to get less downtime between episodes. Any suggestions?