"The Down Low" 6x11

After a VERY long break we have an entire episode of players getting played. An undercover cop keeps playin’ his drug buddy even though he might die by not telling the truth. 13, Taub and Chase are playin’ Foreman with a paycheck prank only to end up having to cough up some cash so they don’t have to tell Foreman the truth. And House and Wilson are not only playin’ each other, but their cute neighbor as well in an effort to score with her only to end up alone and singing showtunes for telling her the truth. Hmmmmm. What are TPTB trying to say this time, I wonder. I get all confused by these mixed messages.


“The Down Low” House 6x11

Hooray! After six long weeks of rerun sadness we open up this new episode of House in a parking garage. Some suspicious looking people are gathered around the trunk of a car, apparently “checkin’ out the merchandise.” If you know what I mean. One guy, Eddie, says he thinks the high quality “merchandise” is worth 35, which I’m taking to be “3500,” although never having bought illegal drugs before I don’t know street value like I should. I would totally blow the Drug Buying Game on Price Is Right. I just know it. A big bad guy says he won’t pay more that 30. Mickey, who’s standing behind the big bad guy chuckles and when he gets the evil eye from big bad guy he apologizes, “I thought you were joking,” he says. See, he’s obviously the guy who would do great at on the Price Is Right. The first guys laughs to and tells “Marko” that if he can guarantee that “Gorski” has to hook them up in the big deal coming before he’ll give him a discount. Marko doesn’t agree and gets pushy. Eddie simply puts the duffle bag of drugs back into the car and closes the door. “Marko, I thought we had an understanding,” Eddie tells him. Marko’s flunky, Tommy, doesn’t like this and pulls out his gun and cocks it. Pointing it at Eddie’s face he tells Eddie that he should show some respect to his boss. Mickey comes around Marko and tells him to cool down. Even Marko tells the guy to cool down, but he’s pulled out his testosterone now and wants to show it off. Mickey manages to grab the gun and aim it down and in the tussle it goes off. Mickey freezes and drops to the ground. Eddie and Marko both things Mickey’s been shot and start yelling at the dumb bodyguard, even though Tommy’s hopping around saying he shot his own foot. Eddie confirms that there’s not a mark on Mickey, except for the giant goose egg and cut on his forehead. The bad bad guys (cause really, they are both bad guys, but I have to differentiate them somehow!) load up into their car and speed away. Eddie hovers over the unconscious Mickey wondering what’s going on. I am too, as not a single other person has come into the parking lot filled with cars this whole time. So much for gritty realism. And we are off to the opening credits! Hooray! Again.

Jennifer Morrison will be mentioned in the credits for the entire run of the show’s history regardless if she returns or not. Just getting my prediction in now.

Mickey is now in Dr. Gregory House’s gentle care in the PPTH clinic. Dr. House, looking at Mickey with his clear blue eyes, is stitching up the head laceration and Mickey is impatiently waiting for him to finish. House says that he’s going to have to order a head CT for Mickey, since House doesn’t know how he received the head injury. Eddie, who’s pacing around the room, looks at Mickey and the two say nothing. Mickey wants to leave, but Eddie insists he stay. They’ll straighten out the mess with Marko tomorrow. Right now the doc needs to fix him up. House mentions that cuts like this generally get stitched up in the ER. Mickey mentions that it was too long a wait and while House doesn’t disagree he also mentions that there’s too many cops down there. House again asks how Mickey got hurt but they stay quiet. House agrees that they don’t need to tell him what happened anyway and then he proceeds to go all Sherlock on the behinds. “No scrapes on your hands means you didn’t try to break your fall which means you were out cold or totally disoriented when you went down. No sign of trauma other than the cut on your head which means no one hit you. And the sign of powder burns on your jacket sleeve means someone shot a gun….” At this last sentence Mickey leaps off the table and grabs his coat and Eddie slams his hat on his head. Both make for the door. House stands and tells them he doesn’t care what they’re doing but if Mickey doesn’t get this checked out it’ll happen again. Eddie stops and looks and House, “What will?” he asks. “This,” House says, pauses, and then slams his cane hard against the exam table, the smack echoing around the exam room. Mickey suddenly crumples to the ground. Both Eddie and House watch him go down. “Cool,” says House. That was cool. I wish I could do that with my kids when they’re melting down at the store over a toy I won’t buy them.

House is now in the Diagnostics Department, where he’s tossing out copies of Mickey’s file to his team. We’ve got Taub, Foreman, 13 and a newly shorn Chase sitting around the table staring at him. House rattles off the symptoms. That fainting thing is called noise-induced vertigo. Cool. House takes the time to snark about Chase’s new hair cut. “Cameron get your hair in the divorce.” Chase glares back at him, but not with real malice. I want to believe that Chase wants to smile just a bit at that, but I also think that Chase should just smile. He’s been Mr. Grumpy Pants for far too long now. Taub mentions that there is no medical info except that Mickey says he hurt his back three years ago. House says not to expect any more info as the guy’s a drug dealer. He says this with a glint in his eye. 13 picks up on the glint and says to him, “So he’s dangerous and withholding, which you find irresistible, but guys like that, they never call.” It’s a funny line and we see House smile at it, liking 13 even more. You know, 13 haters, I don’t mind her when she’s not mooning over Foreman. Miss Wilde’s acting skills have even improved some as well. So I am taking my name off of the Official 13 Haters List. I’ll mail in the card as soon as I can. Chase, gullible as he is, asks House if Mickey actually said he was a drug dealer. House says no, but it didn’t matter. They both had really expensive watches and pre-paid cell phones for easy disposal. Oh, man….my grandpa is a drug dealer! Foreman stands up and goes to the trash to throw away his coffee cup. He spies a folded up piece of paper on the floor and picks it up, examines it and pockets it. He returns to the table where he cuts in on the speculation and says it doesn’t matter if the guy’s a drug dealer they just need to find the problem. Now, I’m short on time this week so I am not going to look up all the details of the diagnoses. Sorry. I would tell the boss to dock my pay but since I do this for free that’s not an alternative. Okay. So Foreman thinks that Mickey has an ear or brain problem and they should run appropriate tests. House thinks that Mickey has some type of poisoning depending on the chemicals Mickey is cutting the cocaine with. 13 somehow takes offense at the fact that House is now accusing Mickey of not just dealing drugs, but dealing cocaine. “He seemed peppy,” is House’s reply. Great, my three-year-old is on cocaine. Sheesh. These stereotypes are ruining my innocence! House stands and tells them to test his ears while he goes and tests the drugs. He’s joking. Right?

Wilson and an attractive woman Nora,, are exiting an elevator in the lobby of Wilson’s new apartment. He’s on his way out. See, I deduced that because he’s coming down to the lobby in an elevator, he’s wearing his coat and he begins to walk out of the front door. See! I can go all Sherlock, too! Anyway, he’s getting the “down low” from this fellow resident on where to go for certain amenities in the neighborhood. She recommends the Pizza at Gino’s and the coffee at Gina’s. Wilson is clearly working with his charm switch on full open. He asks for a dry cleaners. He’s carrying some soiled shirts. She recommends the one two blocks down because the other one shredded up her boyfriend’s shirts. OH! He stumbles and bobbles the football! But wait, Nora casually mentions that she should thank the cleaners for ruining her boyfriends shirts as they are now broken up…and obviously, not amicably. She says that if he needs any more advice to just ask her. Wilson picks up the ball and heads for the goal line. “Favorite sushi place?” he asks her as she retrieves her mail. “Maybe we could go get dinner sometime?” He is driving to the goal line. The end zone is in sight! “Sure,” she says, happily. “As long as you promise to bring that good-looking guy with the cane.” AHHHHH! Wilson gets clipped from behind, the ball falls out of his hands. “House?” Wilson asks incrediously. “You call your boyfriend House?” Nora responds quizzically. UHG! Another linebacker comes out of nowhere and leaps onto Wilson’s back. “House is not my boyfriend.” Nora looks embarrassed. “I’m sorry, what do you two call each other: partner; spouse; lovers?” Wilson is gobsmacked. “What?! We’re not gay!” he declares. Nora looks surprised, “Seriously?” she asks. And then the big linebacker smashes Wilson’s face into the turf, while the other picks up the fumble and runs 99 yards the other way for a touchdown.

Taub is connecting some sensors to Mickey’s face. He is still upset over the time these tests are going to take out of his drug dealing business. Hey, time is brain cells, people. Taub tells him it’ll take about an hour, 90 minutes tops…or Mickey could just walk out with a tumor in his ear. This convinces Mickey to just hang tight for while. Taub joins Foreman in the monitoring room. “He must be late for a stabbing,” Taub snarks, totally making me think my brother, who is always in a hurry, is now a drug dealer. Foreman, still, could care less. He says nothing is abnormal on any of the results. He pulls out the folded paper he picked off the floor earlier and hands it to Taub. “Check this out,” he tells Taub. Taub looks at it. “13’s middle name is Beaureguarde?!” he proclaims. What? No way. Foreman asks if that’s seriously the thing that sticks out. He accuses House of messing with them and planting a fake pay stub. Taub says it looks real enough. Foreman says, No, there’s no way 13 is making that much money. Without missing a beat and as innocent as a lamb, Taub says, “I make that much money.” He casually hands the pay stub back to Foreman. The audience and Taub realize at the same time from Foreman’s facial expression that Foreman clearly does NOT make that much money. Ruh-roh.

House has Eddie sitting on a tall barstool in an operating room. The room is dark except for the big operating light shining on Eddie’s face. We can see Eddie’s televised image on a monitor behind him. “I need the drugs,” House tells him calmly. He’s leaning on another gurney across from Eddie. Eddie shrugs and throws up his hands. “We’re in textiles,” he says calmly. “I NEED THE DRUGS!” House screams at him. Eddie cocks his head like a confused dog. “Hmmm,” says House. “That usually works for Jack Bauer.” Eddie asks why they are talking in the operating room when the chairs in the waiting room are way more comfortable. “But not as genre appropriate, “House says seriously. He’s having fun with this case. Yeah. House threatens him, which also doesn’t work. Eddie tells him I wish I could help you but I can’t. So House decides to play the game. He asks what textiles they deal with. Does it begin with “H” as in Hosiery? No, says Eddie. It’s strictly…culottes. “With a ‘K’ or a ‘C’?” asks House. With a “C.” Eddie tells House that there’s no way Mickey cuts said culottes. He strictly sells them. While this fashion talk is going on Wilson enters the room. He says he needs to talk to House. House tells him he’s busy interrogating a suspect. Yeah, House is having fun. House tells him to make it quick. Wilson seems upset and uncomfortable when he tells House that their neighbors think they are gay. House seems non-pulsed and says, “We’re two grown men over the age of 30 who moved in together. We’re two tigers away from an act in Vegas.” This does not make Wilson feel any better. “Relax,” House continues. “They’ll figure out we’re straight eventually.” “Eventually is not when I want to go out with the cute girl in 3B,” says Wilson as he stamps his foot. Okay. No foot stamping but it sure seemed like he wanted to. Eddie asks for a drink of water and the good cop (Wilson, of course) continues talking to House as he gets some for him. Since when did they start stocking OR’s with pitchers of water. Oh, that House has been watching too much CSI. He tells Wilson that maybe he should just tell Nora he’s not gay. Wilson says it didn’t work. Wilson realizes that the girl was only flirting with him when she thought he was gay and he gets more upset. House, unfazed, turns back to the dealer with an idea. “Are you sure Mickey didn’t…” he stops. “What is a culotte anyway?” he asks. Eddie shrugs while Wilson pipes up that it’s a pair of long shorts cut like a skirt. What? Wilson gets the “How do you know that?” look from both House and Eddie so he merely waves on their conversation. Eddie insists that Mickey hated the stuff and would touch it. Eddie trusts Mickey. Eddie asks if Mickey is okay. It’s been a long time and he’s worried. Relax, says House. It was just an ear test. And of course we cut harshly to the lab where Mickey, who is still attached to all sorts of sensors is seizing his way to a battered brain, as Foreman and Taub try to save his life. But the tests have done their job and they determine he doesn’t have a tumor in his ear. So there you go.

Back in the Diagnostics Department, the team is filling House in on Mickey. Foreman asks that since he got worse since he’s been in the hospital can they please stop playing detective and give up the search for drug or environmental causes. House is clearly relunctent but agrees. They bat around a few ideas but Foreman notices 13’s big ol’ man watch. “New watch,” he asks casually. “Yeah,” she replies casually. “I thought I’d give myself a treat.” Oh, I think someone’s messing with Foreman. That line was too pointed. Let’s watch and find out. 13 moves on and suggests that it could be artery clogging something (hey, I warned you). House doesn’t agree or disagree but tells them all to go do the tests. He walks into his office. Taub and 13 leave to do the tests. Left alone with Chase, Foreman looks at him and shoots it straight, “How much money do you make?” He asks. Chase looks confused, but that’s typical so I can’t interpret much more than that.

“I want a raise,” states Foreman strongly to Cuddy, who is sitting at her desk texting someone. Probably Lucas. Yuck. And it better be only Texting, if you know what I mean. Cuddy says she’d be glad to talk about that at his next job performance review in August. Stop texting, please. My mind is making up the conversation. Yuck. Foreman is miffed that he’s getting paid so little and that it undermines his authority to be paid less than his inferiors. Cuddy stops texting and looks up, interested now. She tells him she can’t discuss what his co-workers make and then asks them how they know what he makes. He says it’s not fair. He just tries to look intimidating as he stands over her with his arms folded. She doesn’t even have to stand up to knock him back down. She reminds him that salary isn’t based on fairness but on leverage, which he has none if there’s no competing offer on the table. “And we both know you don’t have one,” she says, finishing him off. Cuddy=1. Foreman=0. Yeah, strong Cuddy has returned.

House is in his office messing with a radio receiver. He’s getting nothing but static and it keeps blasting out shrieks of feedback. He’s very frustrated. The team is trying to give him updates and tell him that Mickey still really wants to leave, but he’s just trying to get his toy to work. They hear a small snippet of conversation between Mickey and Eddie and 13 is shocked that House has bugged the patient’s room. Really? You’ve worked with the man for how long now? House admits that he let them conduct useless tests so he could bug the room in the hopes that Mickey or Eddie would slip and eventually say where they are stashing the drugs. House still believes it’s environmental. He thinks that toxins stored in the fat cells are making Mickey worse. 13 then sees the wisdom in the bug because it will take days to test Mickey for all those possibilities. House pauses and tells them to tell Mickey it’ll take weeks.

Taub has told Mickey this and he’s not happy. He’s got things to do. Taub thinks it’s sweet he’s worrying about all the school children without their drugs. Mickey, not impressed, tells him he wants to be discharged. Taub gets the paperwork.

Mickey is now driving down a very non-New Jersey looking street. He’s being followed by Chase and 13, who’s driving. Chase is concerned that 13 is following too close and 13 interprets this to mean that Chase is scared of getting killed. Well, maybe he wants more of an element of surprise on his side, woman. Nah, the wombat is probably scared of getting killed. Kidding! Chase lovers! Chase does complement 13 on the watch. Hah! It’s 13 and Chase and Taub. Classic. Way to bond as a team, guys. Pulling a possibly hurtful practical joke on a co-worker. House would cry with unabashed pride if he knew. Chase asks how long they are going to continue to mess with Foreman. 13 says as long as they can and defends her comment by saying that they all wanted to bring him down a notch or two. Chase still thinks she might be motivated by revenge. She doesn’t respond as she’s conveniently realizing that the light is turning red. She guns the engine and runs the red light. And of course, the next second we hear sirens and see a police car right there. Chase thinks this is quite funny. 13 does not.

Nora is getting mail from her box in the lobby when House approaches her. Putting on the most charming of smiles, House introduces himself and thanks her for all the helpful neighborhood information. He also tells her that Wilson mentioned she thought they were gay. He totally denies this, in a soft, sensitive voice. She’s clearly embarrassed. House sees a large brown paper-wrapped package leaning against the wall and limps over to it. He sees it’s to him and then gently rips the paper away. It’s a six-foot by 4-foot tall marquee poster from “A Chorus Line.” Ha-ha! He stands back and clasping his hands in front of his mouth whispers, “Oh my, that is beautiful.” Nora is now clearly confused. House, smiling, tells her that they are so fortunate now because they finally have the space to properly display this. He asks Nora to help him carry it upstairs and she agrees. I am laughing out loud now and have to rewind TiVo so I can hear the last line. I die some more when I hear him comment on her lovely shoes. Oh, yeah, this is the House I missed. After a season of grumpy, drugged-up House and 10 episodes of love-sick, find-myself House, I am falling in love all over again with funny, puzzle-solving House. Sigh. Welcome back, my friend.

Foreman and Taub are walking out of the hospital. Taub asks how the talk went with Cuddy. Foreman said she shot him down and he was just going to wait for his next review in August. “Oh,” says Taub. “What?” Foreman asks defensively. “Nothing,” Taub replies. “That’s what I would do. (Beat) But I’m a coward.” I can see Foreman’s feathers ruffle from my living room. He begins to walk off, pissed, but both their pagers go off. They race down to the ER, where Eddie has brought Mickey back. The nurse tells them that he was brought in 15 minutes ago and he has a temperature of 105 and a weak and thread pulse. He’s also talking jibberish. That comes with the fried brain, I’m guessing. They leap in to help and I am amazed that he’s only been there 15 minutes and they’ve got him in a hospital gown already. Wow.

Back in Diagnostics, Taub, Chase, 13 and House are gathered around the conference table. Chase says that Mickey left the hospital and came back worse so it must be environmental. House says it’s not. 13 is upset. House clearly thought it was environmental. She’s mad about that and that she messed up the tail and got her car impounded. House thinks that’s amusing and irrelevant. He asks where Foreman is. Taub says he had a meeting with Cuddy. House pauses and asks, “Did Foreman fall for the fake paystub?” The looks of the three are great: 13 breaks eye contact and pretends she didn’t hear House; Taub’s mouth drops open in amazement; and Chase looks at first surprised, then he smiles in awe at his boss. Finally, Taub says, “Yeah.” “Mazel tov,” House says plainly. “That should be fun to watch.” 13 begins her rant again about House changing his diagnosis. Maybe I was a bit brash on my Official 13 Haters Club membership. I’m gonna hang onto my card for a while. House states that because of the latest symptoms he thinks that Mickey now has an infection in his brain. Chase and Taub run off to do a lumbar puncture.

Taub and Chase are with the patient. Mickey says that next time they try to tail him they should take two cars. He apologizes for loosing them but says that he had some business to tend to. This gets a big ol’ lecture from Taub and Chase about how horrible Mickey’s profession is. Mickey endures the mud slinging and tells them to rip a new one for the next alcoholic that shows up on the table. Taub has to stab him twice to get the lumbar puncture but Mickey barely flinches and his blood pressure stays level, odd for someone with hyptertension. Hmmmm.

House is at his desk when Wilson comes in ranting about House’s and Nora’s “Evita-Listening Party” the two had. House smiles and stops what he’s doing, “Well, the New York and London recordings are SOOOO different,” he states. Wilson wants to know what’s going on. He thinks House is doing all this to mess with him. House says it started as that but now he just wants to “hit that,” which we all know does not have anthing to do with baseball or tennis. Wilson is disgusted that House is pretending to be in a relationship with him in order to score a hot babe. House tells him the plan is foolproof. He’ll open up about how rocky his and Wilson’s relationship is right now, they’ll get drunk to ease his pain, a back rub will turn into a front rub and then….bam…in the morning it’ll be “I’ve never felt this way about a woman before.” It’s a totally deceptive, conniving and self-centered plan. It’s totally House. Wilson is appalled. His trots out his moral high horse and starts saddling it up. He is mad that House is messing with a girl he’d like to date and brings out the “Guy Code,” rule of “I saw her first.” House scoffs at this and says Wilson is only bringing it up because he knows he’s going to lose the “Bed the Babe” contest. Chase interrupts the conversation and tells House that it can’t be an infection but something with his nerves as they speared Mickey’s spine twice and he stayed as cool as a cucumber. No hypertension. Chase suggests to take that off the table, but House has a Mid-Episode EpiphanyTM and walks out the door. Wilson calls after him that Nora will never fall for the scheme to which House replies, “Well, then, you have nothing to worry about….Sweetie.” Ha.

House goes to Mickey’s bedside and calls him a wuss. Mickey tells him to say that when he’s not sick, but House is not scared. He tells him and Chase that Mickey doesn’t appear to be stressed at all. Maybe that’s the side effect from the beta-blockers. Chase is confused. He never said he had a heart problem. House says that he doesn’t, physically, but maybe he’s taking the pills for something else. Mickey gets nervous and eyes the door. They close it and Mickey confesses that sometimes doing bad things to good people stresses him out. A friend got him those pills and they keep him calm. It seems he took one when he was released.
When he was in the hospital before he was in beta-blocker withdrawal which caused the hyptertension. House takes that symptom off the white-board (where are you white board, I miss you) and then with the other symptoms leads Chase to some diagnosis about extra-adrenaline. Sorry, can’t look it up but it did sound familiar. House He tells Chase to run the tests for that diagnosis and confirms that Chase is okay with that and with the patient’s admission of being a mean guy. House doesn’t want Chase to put a pillow over Mickey’s face. Chase seems more embarrassed than guilt-ridden and laughs it off as a joke for Mickey’s benefit. Chase’s conscious had a name and it was Cameron. It’s long gone now.

Wilson arrives at their apartment to see a big screen TV hooked up and showing “Housewives of Atlanta.” “Oh, great,” he says as he walks in. “The cable guy came.” He rounds the tall stacks of moving boxes to see House sitting behind Nora on a blanket on the floor and he’s giving a back rub to her. Yum. She’s completely at ease, because she’s found every women’s dream: handsome, smart funny fellow who can’t break your heart because he doesn’t go for hearts like your’s. Oh, that heart’s gonna be beat up after this, I’m afraid. Wilson is obviously miffed as Nora turns and says hi. House smiles like the devil he is and says innocently, “We’re having a picnic. (Beat) With wine.” So, we’ve got back rub and alcohol. Next step: front rub. “Why don’t you join us?” Nora asks. “We’ve got some Kung Pao Chicken left. And wine.” House smiles, “Wilson doesn’t drink.” “Well, more for us then,” says Nora the Fly as she flies closer to House’s web. Wilson continues to glare at House, who sweetly smiles back. Wilson is not going to let this slid, by golly. He’s beginning to open that can of paint he and House talked about in the last episode. He’s not yet painting the table, but the paintbrush is going in the can. Wilson drops his briefcase on the floor and then walks over to an empty box next to the cute couple. Nora moans as House’s trained doctor hands finds a knot and works it out gently. Wilson rolls his eyes and plops down on the box, nearly knocked it and himself over. He grabs the take-out box of food and picks up the chopsticks. “Well,” he says. “I might have a little of kung pao.” Now it’s House’s turn to glare. The sight of Wilson trying to make himself comfortable on the smooshed box is definitely worth rewinding. I love Mr. Leonard. Love.

Taub and Foreman are watching the test results in the MRI monitoring room. Taub casually asks Foreman how it went with Cuddy and after a sideways, suspicious glance, Foreman tells Taub that it didn’t go so well. Cuddy said he needed leverage to work a raise negotiation so he told her about the pay he’s been offered for a job at Mercy Hospital. Taub looks shocked as he didn’t know Foreman had ideas of leaving, let alone having another job available. Fact is: Foreman doesn’t have another job offer. He just said that to get the raise, but Cuddy called him on it. Foreman says he’s not going to beg to be underpaid so he’s leaving as soon as this case is over. What? Man, he needs to lighten up, my friend. He’s been so serious since Kutner committed suicide; he nearly destroyed his career by messing with medical studies and the love of his life dumped him. Oh…. Yeah, I can see why. Especially since he was never a very peppy person before. Sorry. Taub looks aghast, however, as their “Harmless, Funny Little Prank” just turned into a “Destroying a Career Prank.” Whoops.

“House is lying to you,” Wilson declares emphatically to Nora. The two of them are in the boys’ apartment, having a cup of coffee. “I know,” says Nora, empathetically. “And so are you.” Wilson is confused. “It’s 2010. No one cares if you’re gay anymore.” Wilson’s confusion just turned into exasperation. He tries to plea his heterosexuality again by pointing out the total straight guy-ness of their apartment. “We have no furniture and not one window dressing,” he says. Ohhhh! The defense makes a huge error. Nora picks up on too. “My last boyfriend didn’t even know what a window treatment was,” she says, assuring Wilson, again, that it’s okay to be gay. Wilson is flummoxed. Nora asks if the Carpenter’s album on the table is Greg’s. Ha-ha. If we’re still playing the stereotype pigeon-holed game then my gay community circle just got way bigger. Wilson finally comes right out and tells her that this whole thing is a game so that House can sleep with her. “I understand,” Nora says. She gently puts her hand on Wilson’s arm. “You’re jealous. If you want to spend more time with Greg you should just tell him.” The look on Wilson’s face is awesome. You know, Wilson, if the babe is this clueless you maybe should just let House have her. Just sayin’.

House enters his Diagnostics Department to Foreman telling him he was wrong about the last diagnosis. Hello, to you, too, Mr. Ray of Sunshine. They tell him test results and throw out other ideas, but House is just watching 13, who is sitting at the desk wearing the headphones from the bug receiver. House tells her that the thing isn’t working, but 13 snarks that she tried something different, like reading the instructions. Once hooked up it worked fine. Her “I’m better than you” look gets wiped off her face, however, when the machine squelches on her, making her rip the earphones of it pain. Everyone can hear it, too, that’s how loud it was. 13 mumbles that it’s looking for an open channel. Well, it’s still looking and House looks perplexed. He walks over to the desk. It surely can find ONE open channel, House supposes before having an Mini-EpiphanyTM.

Eddie and Mickey are talking in hushed tones in his room when House and 13 come in. House tells Eddie that he needs to talk to his friend. He seems relunctanct to leave until House says that maybe it’ll be okay. It’s just a rectal exam. That makes both Eddie and Mickey groan and Eddie beats a hasty retreat to the cafeteria. House has 13 close the door and the curtains. House asks Mickey why he’s on beta-blockers. Valium and Xanax are better drugs to stop the actual stress, but Beta-Blockers just mask the symptoms of stress: shaking, shallow breath, stage fright issues. That’s why some people take them when they perform. As House is saying all this he’s digging around under the bed’s mattress until he finds the bug he planted. Mickey asks him what it is. “My bug,” House says, “But this is…” He goes digging around Mickey’s pillows now. He finds another bug and holds it up. “your bug.” Mickey looks like he knows the jig is up. 13 is surprised that he bugged his own room and asks if he’s an informant. House says an informant would have given up that info at the first sign of blood. No, Mickey, House says, is a cop. The camera turns to Mickey and it’s obvious that House has Sherlocked this correctly, too. Cut to commercial.

The team is outside Mickey’s room and Foreman is again stating that he doesn’t see how Mickey’s profession has any relevancy on the case. “In the land of No-Fun, you have a really sensible piece of property,” House laments to him. Taub tells House to give Foreman a break. What? Taub avoids the questioned looks and just agrees with Foreman. 13 asks if they’re going to use the fact that they know he’s a cop to force him tell them more medical info. House says they don’t need to use force, not when they can use the womanly touch on him. 13 begins to walk into the room and House stops her. “I said WOMANLY,” he repeats and then dramatically turns his head toward Chase. Poor Chase. He came back, however, and chose not to leave so he’d better just keep sucking it up. Chase is not amused, but enters the room anyway. 13 goes with him.

13 and Chase try to convince Mickey to talk, but he’s not listening. 13 threatens to call his boss, but Mickey reminds them that they have no real info about him. They tell him that his life is not worth risking for these drug scums. Mickey tells them that tomorrow night they are going to me meeting with a huge area druglord, who wants to branch his business into Philidelphia. The cops are going to bust up the meeting and stop the bad guys. Mickey has been undercover for 16 months with no contact to his former life. He is not going to ruin all that to save his own hide. Eddie, who seems so nice, killed an informant just three weeks ago on orders from the boss. He needs to stop these guys. He tells them to keep him alive for 24 more hours and then he’ll tell them whatever they want to know. They all stare at other until Eddie returns to the room. The three are nervous that Eddie overheard something as he’s just staring at Mickey, but when Mickey teases him about not bringing him a sandwich, Eddie shrugs, relaxed, and says, “I can’t read minds.” Oh, it would be better for you if you could, Eddie, my boy….. Mickey suddenly grabs his stomach and screams in pain. End of scene.

Chase tells the team that Mickey had a GI Infarction and they had to remove a foot of his bowel. Hope he’s not going to need that….. House is still pissed that the patient is on death’s door and he won’t talk. “Bad guy cool? Good guy moron?” Taub asks. “Pretty much,” is House’s response. Chase defends the patient, too. The guy’s a hero, he says, risking his life to take out these dealers. “I’m sure the dealers who take their places will be very grateful,” House mumbles. Point-House. Foreman throws out a few more theories and comes up with environmental again. But they know that Mickey won’t say a word. 13 cunningly suggests that maybe if someone else got sick he won’t be so noble. That woman is devious.

13 brings a cup of coffee to Eddie, who takes a drink or two. 13 innocently mentions that while Mickey’s surgery went okay, he’s getting worse. It would awful if anyone else caught what was infecting him. Eddie then begins to get woozy. He says he feels drugged. 13 says he may be getting sick and he should take her to where they process their product. Eddie says he doesn’t feel sick. He feels drugged. “Trust me, I know what it feels like,” he says. He asks if she drugged his coffee and she has to fess up. She begins to walk away, telling him he’ll be fine in 30 minutes, but he stops her. Eddie tells her he’ll take her to their place. He wants to help Mickey. She’s surprised, but grateful.

Eddie is walking with 13 through a dry cleaner business. 13 says that they should have told them they lived in a chemical wonderland. Eddie asks if they can leave, but 13 insists on seeing where they sleep. She proceeds to take samples and swabs and is still working when they both hear someone enter the room. “Did you call the cops?” Eddie asks. Duh. No. “Hey, who’s here?” someone calls out. Eddie is about to panic. 13 thinks quick, grabs Eddie and yells out, “Hey, I said no kissing!” The guy comes around the corner and sees them. He’s confused. “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight?” he asks Eddie. 13 speaks again. “Look, the deal was just for you. If he wants to watch it’ll be another $50.” Oh, that 13 is clever, however, part of me thinks she’s had to use that ploy before….. The guy finally catches on to what’s “happening” and smiles. Eddie tells him he’s got it covered tonight. The guy grins again and leaves, throwing a macho thumbs up Eddie’s way. “Nice,” Eddie says to 13. She just looks relieved the shame worked….again. 

We are now in an classy restaurant. House is at a small table with Nora. He’s wearing an IRONED lavender shirt with the collar out over a dark sport coat. He looks very handsome and “Thank Heavens!” he’s finally trimmed that beard of his. It was getting very Jeremiah Johnson. He’s talking about how hard it is to deal with Wilson’s jealousy. He’s not sure if he can even go back to his apartment tonight. Nora, who really, I think may be secretly hoping House will give her a front rub, invites him to spend the night at her apartment. It’ll be a sleep-over! She declares. House hides his triumph behind a shy smile and a quiet thank you, but you know inside the trumpets of victory are blasting. And then Wilson walks into the restaurant and over to the table. “House,” he says quietly. House turns and sees him and a look of pure confusion washes over his face. “What are you doing her?” he responds, a little bit angry. The two stare each other down. “I’m here because,” Wilson begins, his voice actually cracking. House fully turns to him. “Nothing you say is going to change anything,” House says, full of I-have-sealed-the-deal cockiness. Wilson looks at him and nods, as though he has accepted the gauntlet House has thrown down. And then we watch as Wilson begins to paint his table a different color. He stands next to the table and announces to the restaurant patrons, “I love this man!” He looks nervously around and then seems to muster up more courage and says, “And I’m not wasting another minute of my life denying that!” Oh, what an actor that Wilson is. House is stunned into silence. We’ve rarely seen House at a loss for words and this is one of those moments. He was totally not expecting this turn of events and even though he’s ticked off that Wilson is getting the upper hand it also appears that he is delighted with what Wilson is doing. And then it gets better. Wilson drops to a knee and pulls a ring box out of his pocket. Opening it with a large flourish he presents it to House. “Greg House, will you marry me?” he asks earnestly. “Wow,” House says. “This is unexpected.” He is not amused. Nora is beaming next to him and the camera pans between House and Wilson. Each cut to Wilson shows a higher expectation and look of love from him towards House. It’s hilarious. House is still silent. Shocked. Awesome! James Wilson finally one-upped Gregory House. It’s about stinkin’ time. A customer hollers out for House to say yes, but House is still silent. Nora finally feels the tension and excuses herself. Wilson triumphantly takes her place across the table from House. He lifts her wine glass in toast to House and swigs some down. House drinks from his, too, but there’s no joy in Mudville tonight. The mighty House has struck out on a fast curve ball from Wilson. There is, however, a higher level of respect from House for Wilson, I think. Wilson looks proud of his shenanigans and although it cost House a night of fun, I think House is proud of Wilson, too. It’s always more fun to play when the opponent’s talent matches your own, I say. Best Hilson scene ever.

While House is getting played by Wilson, Chase, Taub and 13 are running tests on the chemicals found in the dry cleaners. They are still unsure of what’s the cause of his symptoms, but Chase is confident the albuterol they’re giving Mickey will do the job. The talk turns to their prank gone wild. They know they can’t let Foreman walk because of it, but they are also unwilling to talk to Foreman about it because he’ll be totally torked that all this was because of a stupid prank. Yeah…but he’d have a job still. Cowards. Chase says they have to tell Cuddy and beg her to take him back. Taub knows this is useless. They’re interrupted by Foreman entering the lab and telling them that the albuterol is not working. Whoops. Just then the results from the chemicals come back and BUZZZZZ!—they come back all eco-friendly. The green dry cleaners houses a cocaine business. Nice. So now they still, still don’t have a clue.

The next morning House is presented with the news that Mickey has multiple blood clots now and more are growing. Foreman thinks they look like fungus growths, but 13 disagrees. She reminds them that they found nothing to indicate fungus anywhere. House thinks “Someone missed something,” and he glares at her. 13 pushes back and says that they’ve also given Mickey steroids and suppressed his immune system. If those growths were fungus he’d have a lot more. “Looks like someone has a point,” House credits back. Foreman ignores both of them and bullishly informs everyone they should begin anti-fungal meds before it gets worse. You can see that House doesn’t agree 100% but since the puzzle is still perplexing him he approves the treatment based on his Modus Operandi: if it doesn’t cure him or kill him at least it will eliminate the theory.

Foreman is finishing up hooking Mickey up to his new round of meds. Eddie is there and asks Foreman how long it should take to work. Foreman says a few hours and then leaves, promising to return soon. Eddie hovers and when Mickey starts to cough and gag he grabs a barf bowl and holds it for Mickey as he spits blood out. Yuck. Eddie then wipes off Mickey’s mouth. Mickey is touched by this but in keeping with the charade tells Eddie that he shouldn’t have taken 13 to the stash. It didn’t do any good. Eddie says he had to do something, they’re friends. Eddie knows that Mickey would do the same for him. Ah, no. Exact opposite, in fact. Mickey closes his eyes as guilt washes over his face. Eddie just interprets that as Mickey being tired so Eddie excuses himself. He’s got to meet the big man tonight. He begins to leave but as Mickey hacks up part of his lung again he offers to stay. I think for a moment that Mickey will say yes, and save his friend from 25-Life in prison, but Mickey tells him to go. He doesn’t want all their work to go to waste. He pauses and then tells Eddie that he’s sorry. You know…for not being there with him. Eddie smiles and tells him to relax, he’ll be by to see him tomorrow. No, no you won’t. He leaves and Mickey deals now with not only blood-filled lungs but with the double-edge sword of guilt that comes with his job.

We then go to Cuddy’s office, where the three team members are confessing to Cuddy about their stupid prank. They didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. “Wow,” says Cuddy, “someone does something stupid and insensitive and I always figure it was House. Good to know it’s catching.” I’m pretty sure that was sarcastic….yeah. Chase tells her that Foreman has no other job lined up and says that even if he got a tiny raise he would stay. Cuddy isn’t buying what he’s selling because there’s no way she’s going to dole out more money because of something they did. They understand this and 13 explains that they want her to take a little bit from each of their paychecks to cover the small raise for Foreman. Taub looks like he’s about to pass out this whole time. His wife is going looooove this development. Cuddy agrees to that and says it’ll happen in the next paycheck. They turn to leave but she calls out and deadpans, “Just so you all know. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t spoken with Foreman in three days.” OOOOOHHHHHHH! No way! The look on Taub’s face of complete shock and sickness is CLASSIC. Watch it again, people. Mr. Jacobson rocks. The three beaten puppies realize at the same time that they have been played, but there’s nothing they can do. They tuck their tails between their legs and leave the office. As they walk out into the lobby they spot Foreman, leaning on the counter and looking like the proverbial cat who swallowed the mouse. They stop and gape at him. He oils out a smile as he says, “The phrase ‘Who’s your daddy?’ comes to mind.” WORD! That was cool. I’m not a big Foreman fan, but I’m all for the picked on to turn it around and take the flag. Kudos. They should just realize right now that Foreman is almost as sharp as House….almost. The three walk off and Foreman beams.

House is in his office, trying to figure out what’s killing Mickey when Nora opens the door and asks if he wants to go for coffee. He says it’s kind of a bad time. Yeah, patient dying and all. Nora says he asked her to come by. He decides to go ahead and deal with this problem now and motions her to come sit down. House looks at her and says that this whole thing is his fault. He tells her that he and Wilson aren’t gay. For real. She’s perplexed. House continues. He tells her Wilson thought she was cute so he was playing a game. She’s a bit miffed as it dawns on her. “So you were only spending time with me to mess with him?” she asks. House adamantly denies that and she looks a bit happier until he says, “I’m spending time with you because I want to touch your boobs. Enough to listen to Evita. Twice. And I really hate Evita. That’s how much I like your boobs.” I will admit I giggle each time I hear that. Nora defensively covers her cleavage with her hand as she looks at him with disgust. She looks sad and hurt as she realizes that the perfect man does NOT exist. She stands up to flee but House stops her. “Hey wait,” he says standing up too. “Wilson is a really great guy and he really likes you.” He smiles at her and disarms her enough that she smiles back. She stutters out that it’s really sweet that he stuck up for his friend. House pulls the embarrassed glance down and then looks up at her all shylike, smiling. There’s definitely a glint in his eye and Nora is smart enough to see it. “And you’re still trying to sleep with me,” she says, her disgust returning. “You know, I will call him. It would serve you right,” she says, making her way to the door. “Wilson is a jerk, too,” House says, throwing his friend under the bus. “He’s been married three times, slept with a dying patient. He may look like a boy scout but…” And then we have the FINAL EPIPHANYTM. Poor Nora doesn’t know what to do when House stops in midsentence, looks off in the distance and walks away without another word. Cherish that moment, Nora, not many out of PPTH get to experience that moment. I’d pay to be on that end of a FINAL EPIPHANYTM. She ignores my advice and just chalks it up to House’s Jerkiness. Sad.

House walks to the patients room and tells those gathered there that the aneurisms look like they’re from a fungus infection but they’re not. They’re actually inflammatory. He tells them that the hyper-tension was a real symptom, but it was masked by the beta-blockers Mickey’s been taking. House tells Mickey that he’s got Hughes-Stovin disease, an auto-immune disease. When Mickey asks what the treatment for this is, Chase takes the job of telling him that there’s nothing they can do now. When it gets to the aneurism stage it’s fatal. Everyone is shocked, even House. They missed it. 13 assures Mickey that even if he had told them everything from the very beginning it wouldn’t have made a difference. He did the right thing in staying undercover. House tells Mickey that the only confirmation of the disease is if he dies in the next day or two. Nice. Need to work on bedside manner a bit more still, House. He does look properly saddened at the development. “I think I’d like to call my wife now,” Mickey says quietly and the sadness intensifies.

Our ending music montage begins with a shot of the quiet snow falling outside Mickey’s room. We pull back to see a lovely young lady lying on the hospital bed with Mickey, who’s looking better than in the last scene. His wife is sobbing and he’s holding her. We cut to the dry cleaners where Eddie is meeting with the big boss. The deal is being made. Back at the hospital Mickey suddenly grimaces and tightens in pain. An aneurysm has ruptured. His wife leaps off the bed to summon help. At the drug deal, SWAT members are flooding in all exits of the room. We see Eddie look around confused and then realization dawns that he’s been sold out…by Mickey. A cut to Mickey show the same expression of realization on his face as he knows he’s going to die now. Chase is there to put a pillow behind him, but it’s over. The SWAT team then lead a handcuffed Eddie to the squad car. Lights are flashing and Eddie looks crushed and betrayed. He’s helped into the back of the car. In the hospital, Mickey has died and he’s staring blankly out. The game’s over….for everyone.

Meanwhile, House and Wilson are enjoying a bottle of brew while watching a hockey game. They are sitting on the ugliest barcalounger couch I’ve ever seen. It’s very manly. Wilson tells House he’s sorry to hear about his patient and House says that at least he died a hero in his own mind. “I guess that’s better than nothing,” he says softly. Wilson says that he ran into Nora and while she now doesn’t think they’re gay, she now thinks they are vendacious dirt bags. House is okay with that as it comes more naturally to him. Ha-ha. House is just glad that they can finally get rid of the big Chorus Line poster, but Wilson says he kinda likes it. What? He doesn’t, however, like the fugly couch their sitting on. House defends it. It was only $500 and it reclines, he says, reclining! There’s a comfortable silence and then Wilson begins to sing, “One. Singular sensation. Every little step she takes.” “I will punch you in the face,” says House. “I’ll stop if you get rid of the sofa.” House looks over. His game face is on. “Not a chance,” he declares. Wilson takes only a second before he starts singing again, this time adding the music hits and an occasional jazz hand. House rolls his eyes, wondering where this guy came from and loving every minute of it. Although he’ll deny it in the morning. The real song finally joins Wilson as we pull back from the guy’s living room and the final credits roll. Awesome.

What a great episode. I thoroughly enjoyed all of it. The past few episodes have been great too, but involved a whole lot of analyzing and reading between the lines, trying to figure out Wilson and House and Cuddy and Lucas and blah, blah, blah. This episode was clean and simple. Entertaining and at times laugh out loud funny. The relationship that is developing between House and Wilson is way better right now than raking Huddy over the coals. I am all for Huddy, my friends, but I am loving this look into a solid relationship built on mutual respect and trust. Those two really do like each other and this new bold Wilson is highly appealing to House. Now that whole last paragraph may seem gay-ish, but it’s not meant to be. There’s a strong bong between those two men and it does not have to go that way at all. They are best buds and there’s nothing wrong with that. I admire the writers for showing this close of a male friendship and not having it go that way. Kudos! Guys can have BFF’s, too, people!

It was fun to watch the three team members trying to outwit Foreman only to get played by Foreman. It may be a warped way to bond, but it’s happening between them, too. Hey, kids express emotions according to their own experiences and with House as a “dad” their experiences are a little warped. 13, Chase and Taub may still keep a distance from Foreman, but a certain level of respect was achieved. And those three are definitely now bonding over the fact that a portion of their paychecks is now being given to Foreman. Ouch.

Mickey and Eddie had a great relationship, too. Even though it was based on lies and illegal ways. I wondered if Mickey was playing Eddie, but I think that after 16 months of that intense kind of life where you have to watch out for each other just to stay alive you would have to develop some type of bond. I think it hurt Mickey to eventually sell Eddie out, but he did what he had to do. Sad.

So yeah, overall, one of my favorite episodes of this season so far. It felt like classic House and you can’t get better television that Classic House. Thanks, everyone for reading. We now only have to wait two weeks for another episode, although that doesn’t seem fair either. Although it has nothing to do with fairness. Hey, let’s take Cuddy’s advice and find some leverage to get less downtime between episodes. Any suggestions?

"Wilson" 6x10

On this week’s episode of House we get a lesson in “Friendship 101” when an old friend and patient of Wilson’s asks him for part of his liver; Wilson asks House for some support and Cuddy asks for help finding a new place for her and Lucas. The first two instances end with a stronger bond between BFF’s House and Wilson, while the last ends with Wilson outbidding Cuddy on a dream loft because he feels she should be punished for hurting his friend. Okay….so only the first two are lessons in “Friendship 101.” The last one is more from the class “How To Get Back At Chicks Harshing On Your Buddy 101.” That’s a real class. Honest.



“Wilson” – House 6x10 recap

We open the episode with Wilson peacefully sleeping in his darkened room. He looks warm and cozy. That lasts for about two seconds and then we hear the acoustic guitar strains of George Micheal’s “Faith” blasting from the living room. As Wilson grumpily opens his eyes and gets out of bed to stop the noise, House begins to sing the song. He stops when he sees Wilson glaring at him. Any chance of us fans getting the extended version? Wow. I’d love to get that version of the song together with some videos of Cuddy and House together. Yes? Anyway, Wilson comments on the new stay of disorder in his living room. It is cluttered with books, boxes and guitars. Lots of guitars. House informs Wilson that he had the urge to play in the middle of the night and went to his apartment to get one. He figured he’d just save himself future trips by bringing over a bunch of stuff now. Besides, House says, it’s 6:33am. Wilson should be flossing and on his way to work by now. Wilson hesitates then informs House that he’s not going to work today. Pause. He’s going hunting. He cringes, as I did, at the thought and then retreats back to his bed to sleep in some more. He doesn’t succeed as House opens the door and asks him if it’s “that time of year” again. Wilson tells him to go away. “He’s a self-important jerk,” House says, completely unaware of the irony of that statement. “He’s my friend,” Wilson responds automatically. “He calls you Jim,” House retorts as though that proves he’s not a true friend. House is really not liking the fact that Wilson has another “friend.” He’s jealous. Wilson wants to just go back to sleep. “It’s short for James,” he says, wiggling lower in the bedcovers. “No go away…Lim.” Hee-hee. He closes his eyes and House reluctantly closes the door.

“Jim” and his buddy, Tucker, are hunting, poorly. Maybe I should call Tucker, “Tuck.” See how he likes it…. The two friends having no luck in the hunting department but at least he’s freezing cold and his new boots are leaking, says Wilson. Tucker takes no offense to this and says he will continue to find new and exciting ways to thank Wilson. For what? And if it’s to thank Wilson shouldn’t Wilson get to pick what they do? Anyway, Tucker says cryptically that it’s almost time. “Got the bag?” he asks Wilson. Wilson then takes an empty Chemo foil bag and stabs it onto a tree trunk. Tucker gives a little speech about how 5 years ago Wilson told him that he had leukemia and that if treatment went well he’d be cured. Six months after that the treatment had gone well and he was cured, thereby making Tucker promise right there and then that he would celebrate those dates every year with “Jim” by his side. How touching. He should totally ask Wilson what he wants to do next time. Well, Wilson writes “5 years” on the chemo bag and steps back so that Tucker can blast it to pieces with his shotgun. He can hit a 10” bag from 10 yards but can’t hit a big ol’ turkey eating some worms off the ground. Hmmmm. I also wonder if the shooting of the bag is part of the ritual, which would dangerous if they chose to go skydiving one year. Tucker sincerely thanks Wilson and the two set off to continue hunting. No wild animal in the immediate area is too concerned. Suddenly, as we watch Wilson walk on ahead, a shotgun goes off. Wilson turns and yells at Tucker, who apologizes but it seems he’s in trouble. He’s lying on the ground with his dropped shotgun next to him. His arm is seizing up and he can’t move it. He asks if it’s the cancer again. Wilson has no idea and begins to look around…for what…the nearest First Aid station. Although that might not be such a bad idea if there are as many poor hunters out there as Wilson and Tucker…and Dick Cheney. Tee-hee. Cut to opening credits. I predict Jennifer Morrison and her image will be in the opening credit sequence until the show ends whether she returns or not.

We are in the ER at PPTH. Wilson is returning to Tucker’s bedside with good news. There is no evidence that Tucker had a stroke. There’s a young, pretty blonde next to Tuckers bed and Wilson begins to comment that he can’t believe how much Emily has grown up in five years. Awkward looks from both Tucker and the girl reveal that the girl is not Emily, Tucker’s daughter. Tucker introduces Ashley, his girlfriend. Wilson is surprised. “New life. New adventures,” Tucker explains matter-of-factly. Wilson is still surprised. The girlfriend, Ashley, is freaking out a bit … probably about all the big words being used. Wilson assures Tucker that it’s not his cancer returning. He then notices Ashley’s mongo cold sore. He has a HOUSE-LIKE EPIPHANYTM and diagnoses Transverse Myelitis. It seems that the virus in the cold sore is messing with Tuckers brain. Wilson says he’ll start him on antibiotics right away.

Wilson goes to the Diagnostics Department and looks disappointed when he can’t find anyone. We see him next entering a restricted area where he does find House and members of his team, 13 and Chase. 13 and Chase are performing an ultrasound on a very large man who is rambling in Spanish about the Mano de Dios. It seems he’s a mariachi band member with searing stomach pain. House is sitting there playing with a new toy, it looks like a PSP. I don’t even text so I’m not sure the make and model. Wilson happily tells House that he just had a House Moment, where he diagnosed Transverse Myelitis through a cold sore the girlfriend had. House is reluctant to issue Wilson a “FINAL EPIPHANYTM CARD” just yet. House insists that Tucker has cancer. It seems he paid a nurse to give all of Wilson’s case files to him to look over. House doesn’t want another of Wilson’s patients to die on him and have Wilson get all sad and want to give a career-ending speech again. “I’m stalking you for you,” he tells a shocked and somewhat ticked Wilson. House then harshes on Wilson some more by telling him that Wilson’s caring nature is clouding the diagnosis of his friend. House tells Wilson that he gets paid big bucks to look for zebras while other doctors are looking for horses. Wilson is one of those other doctors. Wilson is rightfully hurt by the statement and says House is wrong. House bets him $100 that it’s cancer. Wilson is still mad. 13 then approaches them and tells House that the patient’s lactic acid level is 27. I guess that’s either too high or too low because it sets some ideas in motion and House walks over to the large man and tells him, “The fact that you don’t speak English does not eliminate you from being humiliated from what I’m about to say.” Before he can finish Wilson tells him that he will take the bet. House nods and as Wilson leaves tells the mariachi singer that if he had just told them he had been a professional tennis player they would have saved a bunch of time in the diagnosis. What?! I want to hear the rest but we are continuing on with Wilson’s day.

Wilson approaches a nurse who fills him in on Tucker and other patients. Oh, Wilson has an assistant. Cool. He should actually have two assistants: one for dealing with cancer patients and one for dealing with House. Wilson takes a file and goes in to check on Del, who is recovering from his latest round of chemo. Del seems more depressed than usual. He’s not bragging on his grandkids as he usually does and Wilson is concerned. He tells Del that he’s going to run some more tests just to make sure everything is okay. He spends a bit of time talking with Del and then he’s paged to see Tucker.

We are in Tucker’s room and Ashley is weirding out about Tucker’s latest symptom. It seems as though Tucker’s foot is tingling. Both men try to downplay the symptom and Wilson invites Ashley to leave. She does so only after Tucker also nicely kicks her out. Wilson tells Tucker that they may have to increase or add meds, but it’s not the leukemia. Wilson all but guarantees it’s not cancer. Tucker appears calm at Wilson’s assurances, but asks Wilson to call Emily, his daughter. It seems as though they haven’t spoken since Tucker dumped her mom and started dating someone her own age. Wow. Go figure. Wilson reluctantly agrees.

Wilson is on the phone at the nurse’s station outside the patient’s rooms. He’s asking exactly what it will take for Emily to come visit her father. Wilson tells her that he would rather her regret coming than regret not coming. Oh, nice turn of the phrase, Wilson. Smooth. While he’s talking Cuddy comes up beside him and waits until he’s done. She asks about Tucker and then asks what House thinks about Tucker. Wilson is offended. She just smoothes it out by saying that it’s not a good idea to treat friends. Wilson shrugs. Cuddy changes the conversation and asks if Wilson’s ex-wife, Bonnie, is still a real estate agent. She pauses and then drops the bomb. She and Lucas are moving in together and need a bigger space. What? She has a house! With at least three bedrooms. Does not compute. Just then the big mariachi singer is pushed by at breakneck speed on a gurney. Foreman is on top of him performing CPR and yelling “It wasn’t the tennis!” at Wilson and Cuddy when they turn to see him. They don’t even bat an eye. I guess they should be used to those types of scenes when it comes to House’s team. It’s still pretty funny. What the rest of the hospital must think of House’s team. That would be a great episode. Sniff. Sniff. Do I smell a fanfic? Wilson looks at Cuddy and tells her that she’s Bonnie’s friend. Why didn’t she just call Bonnie? Cuddy stammers and Wilson fills in the blanks. He tells her he knows she talked to him because she wants his blessing on Luddy. And if Wilson gives them his blessing then that’s sorta House’s blessing, too. Cuddy denies this but Wilson isn’t listening. He walks off and Cuddy looks very…uncomfortable and confused.

And it’s at this moment that if you could see me you would see me doing my FINAL EPIPHANYTM look because I figured out WHY Cuddy is with Lucas. Excuse me while I go completely off track for a moment. See, Cuddy wanted to get together with House. Right? We all remember last season. But House was mentally and physically incapable of any type of relationship. She gets a bit shaken by House’s hallucination and realizes House’s HIGH level of interest in her. House goes off to an asylum and proceeds to make the changes he needs to be in a relationship, specifically a relationship with Cuddy. Cuddy knows that House is getting better and sees this improvement when he returns. She realizes he’s now 80% ready for a relationship and she freaks out. She’s not sure she wants to deal with all the baggage and make a huge effort to not only work on a relationship with House but make changes in herself to have that relationship work. Now, we don’t know when Cuddy hooked up with Lucas, but I’m thinking it was within the first few weeks of House returning. She thought that if she was in an easier relationship she could avoid the harder relationship that hovered around her all the time. Lucas is House-light, we can all agree, but he has no baggage. No drama. It’s easy and while I think Cuddy is now bored with House-lite, she still realizes that relationship is protecting her and her heart from House Classic. Except now, she’s having buyer’s remorse. Wilson thinks she just wants House to approve of her relationship with Lucas, but I think that Cuddy wants House to get jealous, do something stupid and fight for her. But that’s just the romantic in me. It’ll be interesting to see how this shakes out next year. Okay…back to the recap.

Wilson leaves Cuddy and her confusion and is now in Tucker’s room. Tucker has a bad cough and Ashley, as usual is all drama. Wilson is actually somewhat worried as well and listens to Tucker’s chest. Just then Emily arrives at the room’s door. Melissa, Tucker’s ex-wife is there to. She drove Emily down and says she doesn’t need to stay. She’s very nice about it and not bitter or scorned at all. Tucker invites them all in and Wilson gives them both a hug. He assures Melissa that Tucker is okay, but the Liar Liar Alarm goes off as Tucker starts to cough really bad, followed by the heart alarm going off. Yeah, that’s what the Liar Liar Alarm sounds like usually. Wilson calls for a crash cart as he rushes to attend to his friend.

Wilson enters the Diagnostic Department to find the team surrounding the table. Chase is standing behind them all leaning against the counter and tossing the Tennis Ball of Insight around. He’s so House. Wilson asks where their dying patient is. Foreman says he’s not dying any more. It seems as though Mr. Mariachi was eating 10 bags of microwave popcorn a day and inhaling the fumes from the bags had burned and scarred his lungs. “That’s just…weird,” Wilson states. But that’s Standard Operating Procedure for the Diagnostics Department, my friends. Wilson asks where House is and they blab that he’s hiding from Cuddy so he doesn’t get another case. They offer to page him but he says it’s better he’s not there anyway. Wilson asks if the team wants to help House lose $100 bucks. They are all for it and look through the chart for Wilson. Chase sits down and asks if House suspects it’s cancer, which would have be another “Oh, he’s just like House” moment, except that Chase was there when House initially told Wilson that he thought it was cancer. Whoops. Continuity, kids. They throw out some ideas and Wilson comes up with Fungus Balls. I don’t know how he said that with a straight face. He takes the file back and races out.

Wilson takes his epiphany to Tucker and explains the problem and the cure to him and the three ladies, now all hovering around Tucker in support with a hint of competition. At least from Ashley. Wilson says that they need to go in surgically and shoot the lungs full of antibiotic. Tucker asks Ashley what she thinks and she’s so nervous of the surgery thing that she immediately ixnays it. The Melissa asks Wilson if this is the only option. Wilson confirms that it is and Melissa asks a few more intelligent questions before turning to Tucker and nodding. “You have to do it,” she says gently. Tucker agrees and gives Wilson the go-ahead. Wilson smiles and is happy, not only because Tucker will be getting better but because Tucker and Melissa are working as a team again.

Wilson is back up on his regular oncology floor and tells his assistant to page Chase for a surgery consult for Tucker. The assistant tells Wilson that one of his patients, Saul, wants to see him and only him. She gives him the chart. She also tells him House was looking for him. She’s all proud of herself as she tells Wilson that she told House he was in the clinic. She thinks she totally pulled a fast one on House. Oh, my dear. You are playing with a master on that game. I’d watch your back if I were you. Wilson goes into Saul’s room, where Saul tells the kind doctor that he’s very tired but can’t seem to fall asleep. Wilson smiles and tells Saul, “Well, today’s your lucky day. I happen to be a sleep specialist.” And then he ups Saul’s morphine dose and Saul quietly falls asleep. I think he’s asleep, but if you recall, you can never tell with Wilson and morphine doses these days. He then hears the toilet flush and goes to the bathroom door. He opens it to find House sitting on the toilet lid. See, he totally didn’t fall for the ruse, missy. “Can’t a guy get a little privacy,” asks House, who is still playing with his phone. It must be a new toy. House asks what Cuddy wanted. Wilson just mentions that she was asking about Tucker. “Did she say anything else?” House asks as innocently as he can. “About you perhaps?” Wilson responds. Caught redhanded, House deflects by changing the subject and asking for his $100. He tells Wilson that Tucker does not have a “ball of fungus” and I would have given him his $100 right then if he had said “fungus balls” instead. I bet Mr. Laurie wanted to but couldn’t do it with a straight face. Wilson is amazed that House is so up to date, but he really shouldn’t be. He is House. And I’m actually thinking that he probably kept all the bugs he had Lucas plant everywhere during season 5 up and running. He might even had hire someone to monitor it and put the invoices with his patients. You know, split up the expenses here and there and no one the wiser. Hmmmmm. Wilson is mad and turns to leave the room when Cuddy enters. She has been looking for him to tell him all about the loft in the city that Bonnie found for her and Lucas. Wilson, wanting to avoid stepping in a HUGE heap of steamin’ you-know-what, quickly guides her out of the room and away from House lurking in the bathroom.

Wilson has returned to Tucker’s bedside, reassuring him about the surgery. Tucker tells Wilson that he should maybe go be with Ashley, who’s more freaked out than he is. Wilson correctly assumes that Ashley has never had to deal with anything like this. Wilson asks Tucker why he left Melissa. Tucker starts to make excuses but eventually just shrugs and says, “I don’t know.” Wilson gets a look on his face that I’m sure many a yenta has had before just as she’s realizing a perfect match.

Tucker’s surgery is underway and Wilson is watching it from the observation room. House enters the room. Wilson quickly tells House to keep quiet, he’s not interested. House ignores him and pushes the button to berate Chase. Chase gives it right back so House turns his attentions back to Wilson. But it’s not about Tucker. “You didn’t tell me that Cuddy was moving in with Lucas because you were protecting me,” says House. “Which is odd, since I’ve told you I was fine with their relationship.” Wilson admits that while he thinks House might be okay with the dating thing, the moving in thing is a higher level of commitment. He was afraid that House would react poorly. House, jealous, begins to snark about Cuddy and Lucas. Then he pauses and starts to over-analyze why they’d get a loft and how it looks like less of a commitment with two bedrooms. Blah. Blah. Blah. Wilson tells House to stop torturing himself. House insists that Cuddy’s just having a mid-life crisis. A part of him is still denying that Cuddy and Lucas have a real relationship, and, honestly, I trust House’s opinion on this one. He’s pretty saavy when it comes to reading people, especially Cuddy. Wilson shakes his head. “Yeah, you’re clearly fine with this.” Chase at that moment calls up to the booth to tell them that while Tucker is footloose and fungus-free, his lungs are mincemeat. Tucker has PCP pneumonia. Well, snarks House, there are only three reasons for Tucker’s immune system to be so trashed: HIV; Acquired SCIV (I tried to look that one up for all of you and still couldn’t come up with it using different search engines) and wait for it…CANCER. House tells him to be sure to test for all three.

Wilson and a bunch of other doctors are gathered around a conference table. He’s reviewing Del’s records and history with them. He said that he performed another scan and discovered a small growth. The other doctors are impressed that he put together the depression with a possible cancer growth. They congratulate him. He accepts the praise and wonders if he’s going to show off his “I’m A Zebra Doctor” card to House, but House is suddenly there, breaking in on the meeting. He has bad news. Tucker does indeed have cancer…and he wants his $100. House needs to work on his lack of personal involvement when it comes to work I think. Maybe he can borrow some involvement tokens from Wilson, because he has WAY too many. We go to a commercial and I just want to say that just because we have a few popular reality shows that focus on little people we should not start putting elves in all of our Christmas commercials. A new awareness and acceptance does not make a silly stereotype suddenly okay. Sorry. I’ll give my soapbox back to Cameron.

Back in Tucker’s room Wilson has to tell him and the three girls in his life that he does in fact have cancer, but it’s a new kind. This form of leukemia was probably caused by the huge doses of chemo he received five years ago. Tucker grabs Melissa’s hand at this news. Ashley is less than thrilled and I feel the temperature go down in the room through my television set. Can I mention that it was at this point that I realize that Ashley IS Melissa probably 20 years ago. They look exactly alike down to outfits even. It looks like that Tucker’s little wake-up call five years ago made him decide he needed a newer model of his wife. I can see why Emily was so bitter. It speaks volumes about Melissa that she’s even there supporting that self-important jerk. Wilson explains that the cancer is in Tucker’s brain, which is good because the blood-brain barrier has kept the cancer to that limited area. They should be able to go put in a shunt, drop in some chemo and get rid of the thing. Wilson assures the group that 90% of the people with this form of cancer come out just fine. Melissa asks about the other 10%. Wilson admits that that 10% usually have 6 months or less. Wilson, however, is very reassuring and convinces them all that Tucker will walk out of there. It’s here I realize that Wilson has become too involved. Wilson has given many a lecture about giving too much hope or sugar-coating everything when it comes to telling patients what to expect. He’s forgotten his own advice in trying to make everything okay. And besides, he shouldn’t be so optimistic. He’s still has 30 minutes left in the show.

Wilson and the girls are escorting Tucker down the hall to the OR. Wilson is explaining that Tucker still needs to determine who’s going to be his medical proxy and sign the paperwork. In my vast experience of visiting hospitals (I have four kids, two elderly parents and a husband who plays sports) that medical proxy form was always a part of the admission paperwork, but then again PPTH has always done things a bit different then most hospitals. More drama that way. Tucker tells Melissa that he thinks she should be his proxy. “What?!” says Ashley. “Oh, I don’t think so,”says Melissa at the same time. Just then House’s team literally cuts in front of Tucker’s gurney with a gurney of their own. A patient is on it, holding on for dear life as Foreman and Taub swing that gurney at a hard left turn and through the operating room doors. Man, that took some skill, I’m telling you. “House got a new case!” yells Foreman as explanation for the cutsies. House is limping behind the careening gurney. He tells Wilson that his operation has been bumped. Apparently bleeding from one’s eyes takes higher priority, House says. Wilson points out that House’s patient is NOT bleeding from his eyes. House’s patient is not a higher priority. Well, that’s what the nurse that books the OR thinks, House says as he throws a paper at Wilson and tells him that anyway, Wilson is more patient. He follows his team into the OR. Wilson turns back to his patient and tells them everything is okay. Now they’ll have time to figure out the whole medical proxy thing.

Tucker and Ashley are in the OR prep room. She says he trusts Melissa more than her and Tucker agrees he does, but only because they’ve gone through this together before. Ashley has no experience with these sorts of things. I bet neither did Melissa til five years ago. I guess Tucker wants someone with more life & death experience in his ring when it comes time to pull the plug. Hmmmmm. Kind of self-serving, however, to put you current love in the corner til a crisis is over. Ashley spits out that Tucker still loves Melissa. “Don’t be silly. I love you. Please don’t make this more than it is,” he says, never really denying that he doesn’t love Melissa anymore. Ashley again looks non-sympathetic and ticked off.

The next morning finds Wilson checking Tucker’s progress. He’s still not feeling anything in his arm and leg. Wilson asks where everyone is. Tucker tells him that Melissa and Emily are downstairs getting some breakie. He quickly explains that Ashley had to work. Wilson is confused and says that he thought Ashley had today off. “Well, she didn’t really have to work but she’s pissed at me so she pretended to have work to do. I let her pretend,” explains Tucker. I guess she did make it more than it was. Yeah, Ashley is all about the supportive nature of mature relationships. Tucker still has no movement in his arm and Wilson realizes that Tucker’s leukemia is resistant to the chemo because of the chemo that was pumped into his body years ago. Tucker starts to mentally write out his obituary, but Wilson tells him that there might be a way.

House and Wilson are walking down the hallway. “We took the screw out his lung, but the weird thing is he didn’t get better,” House states matter-of-factly and again I LOVE the randomness of any patient reference he and his team gets this episode. Within an episode around House’s team all this makes perfect sense, but when bits and pieces are taken out of context it becomes really funny. Wilson is not interested in House’s new case. House says that he figures as much, he’s just trying to keep the conversation from going where Wilson wants it to go. There’s a pause. Then House tells Wilson that doubling the chemo dosage on Tucker is stupid and again Wilson appears amazed. He really should be used to this by now. Wilson defends his idea as something that House would have done. House agrees but stops walking to turn and face Wilson. “Yeah, but I’m me and you’re you,” he says. “And a table is a table,” retorts Wilson. House explains that he can handle it when things go badly (except if it’s of a personal nature, my dear Dr. House) and Wilson can’t handle it when things go badly. And House reminds Wilson that things could go very, very badly. Wilson is mad at House and is offended that House seems to be implying he’s a wuss. He storms saying he can handle what happens. Looks like he’s off to make things go badly….

Wilson tells Tucker, Melissa and Emily about the risks. Tucker asks Melissa what she thinks. She thinks Tucker should call Ashley. Tucker shakes it off, “You’re my family,” he says. “I’m sorry I forgot that.” Wilson smiles. Emily then says she thinks her dad should do whatever it takes to keep them together longer. They all clasp hands and Tucker gives Wilson the okie dokie to poison his brain. Wilson puts on the silver bag of chemo. He’s happy. He’s saving lives and healing families. It’s a perfect day for James Wilson.

The next day we see the Tucker, Melissa and Emily happily sharing a laugh in Tucker’s room. They are all happy because Tucker has movement and feeling back. Wilson walks in on the happiness and earns a hug and a thank you from Melissa. As he looks at Tucker, he sees how yellow Tucker’s eyes are. I yell out “Oh, no, he’s got liver failure!” Wilson looks as concerned as I do when he tells them he’s going to have to run some more tests.

In the pathology lab, 13 and Taub are finalizing some tests on their patient. They’ve determined the problem but can’t figure out the cause. “It could be from the fire,” offers 13. “Either way he’s dead,” responds Taub. They turn when House walks in the lab. “We can’t stop the oozing,” Taub informs House. Again! I love the writer (David Foster) on this episode. He’s giving us all the fun weird snippets we usually get but thrown them randomly into the dialog mix. I’m just waiting now for Foreman to run in and tell them their patient has pooped out a lung and then I can die happy. House is not concerned with their patient. He’s there to see what Wilson has found out. Wilson has good and bad news. He’s successfully killed the cancer, but he also killed Tucker’s liver in the process. He needs a transplant. Now. Score one for Dr. Recapper, my friends! Didn’t I call that one. Someone send me my television-based medical license now, please. House is totally mean when he rubs salt into Wilson’s wound and says, “Well, look at the bright side. You can publish this case study and no one will ever double the dose again.” Ouch. Harsh. Nothing ticks House off more, I think, than when he full-out tells people what will happen and they don’t listen to him. Tell me about, House. I deal with it every day of my life! Of course, my warnings usually involve sharp objects or unfinished homework, not double doses of chemo. Oh, well. The feeling of “I told you so” is the same, I’m sure.

Wilson is in Tucker’s room. He’s telling them that Melissa, Emily and Ashley don’t match his blood type so he’ll have to just wait for a donor. Melissa asks if there’s anything they can do. They don’t want to sit around and just wait. There’s nothing, states Wilson, and furthers the stress by saying that Tucker probably has less than 24 hours to live if they don’t find something. Just then House comes limping into the room SOPPING WET! Ha-ha. This is better than someone pooping a lung, I tell ya! “I hope he’s told you you’re gonna die because it’s going to make what I’m about to say more relevant,” House says to Tucker. Wilson asks when it started raining…in the hallway. House shrugs. He explains that he was just in the ER because it’s the only department with a shower large enough for his patient, his team, the cardiac monitors and him to test the patient for autonic dysfunction. He finds it bothersome to have to explain something so obvious so he moves on quickly. House says that what is really relevant is that while he was leaving the ER they brought in the victim of a motorcycle verses a semi. Wilson immediately perks up. House says it’s bad news for the motorcycle but good news for Tucker as the guy has a matching blood type. Wilson asks why no one paged him and House says that the guy doesn’t have a donor card but his next of kin, a sister, lives only 20 minutes away. Wilson is out the door before he can finish the sentence. House races after Wilson, throwing a reassuring smile back at Tucker, et al. I think he’s also just enjoying all this action and change of venue. After all, a guy can only handle so much oozing.

Parked out in front of the sister’s house Wilson is wondering what type of person gets word of her brother’s accident and runs out to get errands done. They are waiting for the accident victim’s sister to arrive. Wilson, who is standing by the passenger side of the car, is not impressed with the sister’s lack of familial bonding. House is sitting in the passenger side with the window partly rolled down. He’s wearing Wilson’s gosh-awful hunting hat. Is this mockery or just a way to keep warm. Knowing House, probably both. House looks away as he ask Wilson if Cuddy bought the place. Wilson isn’t sure. “What are you planning now to ruin her relationship with Lucas?” Wilson asks, suspiciously. “Nothing,” House replies. “I don’t believe you,” Wilson responds. Then more seriously he says, “Are you really okay?” House responds with an immediate and emphatic “No! I am not okay. Not even close.” House shrinks down a bit in form and spirit at this admission. Wilson in surprised, but happy that House opened up to him. “See that’s very adult of you,” Wilson commends him. “No, it’s not,” House counters. “That’s just me accepting the fact that there’s nothing I can do and moving on.” That’s the skill that Nolan taught him. Remember, however, that House realized he can almost always do something before moving on. He’s still working out if that something is good or bad, I think. House looks lost and sad. Please, don’t give up, House. She still wants you. Just read back a few pages for my theory. Wilson nods, “Well, I think that’s the definition of adult hood,” he says. House is resigned but not bitter when he responds with, “Well if it is, being a kid is a lot more fun.” Anyone else want to give a big group hug to House right now? Yeah, join in. Just then a car pulls into the driveway. “Showtime,” House says and climbs out of the car, following Wilson up the driveway.

In the sister’s kitchen, the sister is talking. And talking. And talking. She tells of their history and how they only just reconciled. Being Buddhist she doesn’t believe in defiling the body after death. She tells them if she donates his liver, her brother’s Itai will be harmed. Wilson is trying to be all sensitive in convincing that donating this liver will be the right thing to do, but House finally has had enough. He tells her that he doesn’t have the time to talk her out of her religion, so what if he tells her that technically her brother is still alive and that his last dying act would be to donate a small portion of his liver to save someone else. She finally agrees, but it’s too late. Wilson receives a page informing him that the brother’s liver is too far gone to be used now as a donor organ. Both House and Wilson are disappointed. “Well played,” House says bitterly as he walks out. “Religion just killed another person.” Gosh, tell us how you really feel, House.

“It’s not fair, Jim,” whines Tucker back in the hospital room. “You just helped me get my family back. I want more time.” Tucker proceeds to whine more at Jim for giving him the extra dose of chemo, because before that he had at least six months. Wilson is taken aback at Jim’s petty accusations, but he’s still graceful as he apologizes. Then Tucker pulls the ace from his sleeve and tells Wilson that five years ago Wilson donated blood for him when he needed it. They have matching blood types. Can Wilson give Tucker a piece of his liver? What?! Nice friend. Wilson and Tucker debate about the ethics of being a friend and being a doctor, but ultimately, and rightly Wilson says he can’t do that. Bravo! You have to be careful and tough about this. One day you give them a piece of liver, the next day they want your retinas, after all you have two… Wilson is obviously feeling guilty, sad and manipulated. Thanks heavens we have Mr. Leonard in this cast. He can definitely keep the pace with Mr. Laurie when it comes to conveying meanings beyond using mere words.

Wilson comes home to find House watching some movie that involves sword fighting. At least, that what it sounds like on home theater surround sound. House asks Wilson, “Late night with the pigeon sisters?” I looked that one up and found that it was a reference to the set of sisters that lived in the apartment above Felix and Oscar in the play The Odd Couple by Neil Simon. So appropriate. House soon realizes that Wilson is not in a good mood and may even be slightly tipsy. Wilson sees all his freezer food thawing on the counter. House tells him that he needed to move it so he could put his margarita shots in the freezer. It’s a rather blatant act of a lack of respect. Wilson reveals that Tucker has asked him to donate part of his liver to him. House is outraged. And amazed he’s even considering it. “It’s my fault!” Wilson yells. House tells him that Tucker was explained the risks and still bought the ticket. It’s not Wilson’s responsibility. Not legally, says Wilson, but morally it is. House has heard this song before. “A table is a table, Wilson. Stop being a doormat!” he yells. This totally sets Wilson off. He yells at House for his selfish behavior and calls House a hypocrite, “You already think I’m a doormat,” he screams. “But you’re wrong!” He pulls out House’s margarita shots and dumps them in the trash then he angrily pushes off some of House’s books from the table. He tells House to pack his stuff and get out of the apartment. House is stunned at the tantrum and considers that he is a bad as Tucker. He’s left standing in the middle of the apartment as Wilson storms into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. I think Wilson is not only angry at what House said, but angry that he probably agrees with House.

The next morning finds Wilson walking down the hallway of the Oncology floor. His assistant greets him cheerfully, but Wilson is not having a good day. She tells him that Tucker is still the same. He asks to get word when he takes a turn for the worse. Wilson wants to be there for him at the end. Wilson’s assistant looks at Wilson and tries to cheer him up by telling him that Del is now cancer free. Wilson’s catch saved his life. Wilson doesn’t feel like doing the happy dance right now. He just takes Del’s chart and goes to talk to Del. Wilson’s assistant looks after him, worried.

Wilson is showing Del his lung x-ray. He shows him that the spot he found is now gone. Del thanks him for saving his life. He’s amazed that Wilson could find that little spot from the fact that Del wasn’t talking about his grandkids. Wilson just nods then it looks like he makes a decision. Wilson realizes it’s the little things he does that can make the difference. I think he’s decided to donate part of his liver.

Wilson enters Cuddy’s office. She’s talking to Bonnie on the phone and tells her to just keep looking. Cuddy hangs up and dejectedly tells Wilson that she put an offer on the loft, but the seller turned her down. “I offered exactly what a similar unit sold for three months ago,” she laments. Wilson abruptly shift the conversation by stating that he’s going to donate part of his liver to Tucker. She thinks he’s insane. “You have hundreds of patients!” she says. “And until I run out of excess organs why shouldn’t I do everything I can to help them?” he argues. “You’re a doctor, not a donor,” Cuddy points out. Wilson asks her why she made him head of oncology. “Not because you have the most organs,” she snarks, but she eventually says it’s because he’s a caring individual. Cuddy accuses him of feeling guilty and not being rational, but Wilson simply explains that Tucker is his friend and he’s doing what he can to save a dying friend. It’s what Wilson does. Cuddy realizes this and approves the procedure.

Wilson comes to House’s office where he finds him pouring over a case file. Wilson tells House to mock all he wants, but he’s going to donate part of his liver to Tucker. House stands up and gives the same argument that Cuddy tried. “They’re all dying. They’re all your friends!” But, he gives up too. He knows Wilson all too well. So then House asks if Wilson is there to make sure he called the movers. Wilson smiles, no, he’s there to tell House that his operation is in two hours and he’d like for House to be there. House’s expression visibly softens then begins to melt. There’s a long time of silence before House makes eye contact and answers, “No.” Wilson is surprised, “What-Why?” he asks. Again, House pauses, this time composing his answer and himself. “Because if you die,” he says softly. “I’m alone.” He looks at Wilson for a moment then shifts his gaze self-consciously downward. Wilson is completley shocked at this baring of House’s soul. He’s never experienced this before and isn’t quite sure what to do so he just leaves. House sits back down and pretends to focus on his paperwork. He absent-mindedly rubs his scarred thigh. Once again, House’s emotional pain is manifesting itself physically. Way to go on continuity, kids. You get your Continuity patches back. Wilson hesitates in the door way, but continues to walk on.

The musical montage begins with Wilson coming from behind a screen where he has changed into his stylish hospital gown. He is getting an IV when Tucker is rolled by. Tucker whispers his thanks to Wilson and smiles back, calm and secure in his decision. We then see him on the operating table. He’s being given the knock-out gas. As he begins to drift away he sees a solemn-looking House walk into the observation room above him. He smiles at the knowledge that House, despite his fears, came to support his friend. The last face he sees before going under is House looking down over him. Oh, my heavens, I’m on the verge of happy tears, my fellow House fans. What a great moment for the two of them. How great for House to have come so far that he can show that support even though it scares the crap out of him and how great for Wilson to finally get some support and friendship back from someone, especially House. They are now BFF&E. Best Friends Forever & Ever! What great acting. Yeah. I love this show.

After the commercial we are back in the recovery room at PPTH. Both Wilson and Tucker are asleep on the beds. Melissa and Emily are nowhere to be seen, but House is sitting on the bed next to Wilson waiting for him to wake up. When Wilson groggily opens his eyes the first face he sees is House. Neither smile or frown or make any facial expression of acknowledgement. They just allow the scene to happen, each realizing that they’ve cemented their friendship now. We see them next in Wilson’s hospital room. House is eating some of Wilson’s hospital food. Ha-ha. And they are laughing about some story House is telling. Wilson shows some discomfort as he laughs but ignores the pain to enjoy the moment.

We then see Wilson in a wheelchair wheeling himself into Tucker’s room. He’s looking less yellow so the liver transplant must have worked. Wilson asks how Tucker is feeling, who responds that he can’t complain since Wilson has saved his life…twice. Well, technically, it’s three times, Tuck. Wilson notices Tucker’s bag of clothes on the bed and asks him what’s up. Tucker says he’s being moved to a rehab facility near his new house. Wilson raises an eyebrow. It’s easier for Ashley, Tucker confesses. Wilson looks like he just got punched. Tucker has ditched his family…twice. Tucker doesn’t think it’s a big issue. He thanks Wilson for getting the family back to get together. Melissa was great and all but, he says, “the person you want when you’re dying isn’t the person you want when you’re living.” Wilson, by the look on his face, couldn’t disagree more. It should be the very same person at both times. But Tucker says this very matter-of-factly and Wilson realizes that House was right about this guy, too. He is a self-important jerk. And House, Wilson knows, is not. Contrary to every other scrap of evidence out there. Hee. Ashley walks into the room then, holding a soda for Tucker. “Hi, Jim,” she says. Wilson begins to wheel himself out of the room. He pauses for a moment to tell Ashley, “Actually, it’s James.” I bet he won’t be going on any stupid hunting trips with “Tuck” again.

Wilson is sleeping in his room. House is in the chair nearby, looking through a patient’s file. Wilson wakes up and sees House there. “Are you ready to admit he’s a self-important jerk?” House asks without preamble. See, House still has all those listening bugs. His spy-ring payroll would be outrageous in order to keep that many tabs all over the hospital. Wilson just responds, “I still feel good for what I did.” “You don’t feel angry?” House asks, genuinely interested. “I’m a little disappointed,” Wilson admits. “Disappointment is anger for wimps,” House says, teasing. He checks his pager and begins to load up his stuff. Awww. He had his pager on vibrate so it wouldn’t wake Wilson. See, that’s considerate. House continues the advice column, “You don’t have to be so gentle about everything. It’s okay to get angry sometimes.” Wilson smiles. “You can’t change a table,” he says throwing House’s words back at him. House sits up a bit, “Actually,” he says, “you can. You just need a can of paint and the guts to use it.” He picks up his file and walks out. Wilson lays there thinking for a moment and then picks up his phone from the side table. He dials a number. “Bonnie?”

We are inside the foyer of a swanky apartment. The door opens and a very dapper Wilson enters, followed by a very hesitant House. The camera pulls back as they walk in to reveal a huge great room and kitchen. It’s beautiful with huge window and hardwood floors. They walk into the big area and Wilson admires it. House is still looking at Wilson. “Bonnie told me what Cuddy’s bid was,” he says casually. House looks at him. “So you’re going to outbid her?” House asks incredulously. Wilson doesn’t respond. House just waits as Wilson points out the refrigerator. “We do need a bigger refrigerator.” House has picked up on the “we” part, but still says nothing. This is the unexpected part of Wilson he enjoys so much. He’s waiting to see what “not-boring” thing happens. Wilson finally looks at House and states, “She hurt my friend. She deserves to be punished.” A small grin slowly creases House’s face. “You got mad,” he says. “I’m proud of you.” He’s smiling and so it Wilson. “Cuddy won’t share that sentiment, however,” observes House as he finally starts to look around the loft. Wilson says he’s going to change their address to a P.O. Box. Ha-ha. House points out that Cuddy will find out eventually. Wilson shrugs and gingerly lifts himself on the marble countertop of the kitchen island. “A problem delayed is a problem denied,” he says. I think he got that one out of House’s Guide For Living. He gets out his phone and dials. “Bonnie? I’ll take it,” he says. House looks on like a proud father as he says, “Baby steps.” The last shot is of Wilson, grinning like a Cheshire cat and looking like he can take on the world. HOORAY! FOR! WILSON! Cut to black.

What a wonderful episode. Oh, man. This was classic House and what a great development in not only Wilson’s, but House’s characters. Both men realized what a true friendship is about and then realized that they wanted to make sure their friendship is that way. They each had to open up and make some changes but knew it would be worth it. We saw Wilson realize that although he’s “friends” with all his patients he’s not really “buddies” with them. Yes, it’s all semantics, like anyone can be a “father” but it takes a great guy to be a “dad” kind of thing, but that’s the truth. House has always known that Wilson would be there for him no matter what and House realized he needed to be there equally for Wilson. Wilson’s time and effort and sacrifice finally paid off and he’s rewarded with a lasting friendship with House. Also, if we are to allow the patient storyline to carry over into other storylines in the show, as it usually does, we learn more about Cuddy. Tucker had given up the difficulty and effort of keeping up with Melissa, who seems way too good for him anyway, for a younger, faster model in Ashley and I can’t help but think that’s what Cuddy’s done with Lucas. I’ve mentioned this before that Lucas is House without the baggage, or charm I may add, and I think Cuddy chose the easier path on that one. I hope Cuddy’s smarter than Tucker, however, and realizes that nothings better than the original.

Well, that’s the last original episode until January 11, 2010, my friends. I will miss our dear Doctor, but I’m so glad we are leaving on such a great episode! Maybe I’ll post some more thoughts and predictions during December. So until then, have a Happy Holiday Season, whatever that holiday may be, and enjoy a great New Year! Thanks for reading and commenting. Bye!